Overcome destination addiction
“Beware of 'Destination Addiction' – a preoccupation with the idea that happiness is in the next place, the next job, and with the next partner. Until you give up the idea that happiness is somewhere else, it will never be where you are.”
If there is anything 2020 taught us, it’s this: we can plan and prepare for our lives as much as we can, but things never truly turn out the way that we expect them to. And while it may be easier to sulk, to victimize ourselves, blame our circumstances, or forever daydream about the future while ignoring today as a means of escaping it, the best way to deal with this reality of life is by actually by being present.
As a former queen of escapism, i lived many days daydreaming about tomorrow and while it helped me get through my most boring classes, it definitely did not help with my anxiety or my addiction to worry. my daydreams of the future were so great that i just had to make it happen for myself. i was so addicted to the destination and did everything in my power to make it happen just the way i imagined it.
As most of you know, that isn’t the best way to live life because often it leads to not just worry, anxiety, and many sleepless nights but also the lack of enjoyment over what is given to us today. And if you think about it, today is really all we have.
With many years of work and help, i learned to overcome intense bouts of anxiety and worry (which often manifested in anger) by bringing my attention to the present moment. 2020 was a great practice for that simply because the current pandemic doesn’t guarantee much security.
most would say that with everything going on in the world, finding joy may be difficult but in acknowledging the present moment, it is not only possible but can easily be our reality. And this is not to minimize the challenges you went through or are going through during this season but in order to overcome whatever it is 2020 has brought your way — you need strength and that strength is often found in seeking joy, no matter how small, daily.
Trust that you are guided
At this moment, it might be easy to escape into the window of the future because we believe our current circumstance is doing nothing but stretch and challenge us. the future seems like a sweet destination because today simply sucks. However, the best way to still enjoy today is the belief that we are guided, no matter what we are.
When we put our faith and trust in something greater than ourselves, we start seeing challenges as opportunities and know in our hearts that no matter how difficult today is, we are being held by a power greater than our own.
For me, it’s always been my relationship with God that has held me steady no matter how cruel the waves may be, and it is my belief in Him that allowed me to look at today and not be daunted by it. We are all held, even if it doesn’t seem like it, and that alone is enough to get us through whatever is happening in the present.
Find abundance in the mundane
A conversation with a good friend of mine, Pepper, reminded me of what abundance really is all about. more often than not, we associate abundance with grandiosity and extreme wealth but true abundance is found in our every day.
it’s with us the moment that we wake up, it’s in the beauty of nature that surround us and the people who love us, and it’s within us because no matter what, we are able to wake up daily with the hope that “hey, maybe today we finally win.” As long as we keep looking for little pockets of abundance today, we would always be grateful, and being grateful often leads to joy.
Breathe
As mr. miyagi advised to daniel-san, “When you feel life out of focus, always return to the basic of life.” And as we all know the basic of life is our breath so when life feels overwhelming, simply take a deep breath, and the rest will follow. All is well in this moment.
*** i would like to take this moment to celebrate 122 years of the manila times and send my gratitude to the Ang family, my beautiful editor, tessa mauricioArriola, Christina, ed, euden, and Karla Pastores-Keh. it is because they believed in me that i have this wonderful opportunity to share exciting stories weekly. Cheers to 122 years and here’s to 122 more!
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