BYE BYE BABY
After pregnancy, a mother often bids her old body goodbye, but never quite leaves
Motherhood nowadays feels pretty damn intimidating. You have all these #instamoms who seem to miraculously sprout abs just a few weeks after they’ve delivered their little miracles into the world. Not to forget the mom of multiples who looks like she’s barely out of her teens— not someone who’s had three of them. Undoubtedly, there’s pressure for us moms to literally suck it up so that we too can look picture perfect while pushing our Bugaboos.
In all honesty, the need to look like I’ve bounced back to my pre-baby body is something that I constantly think about. While working on fixing my diastasis recti, a very real medical condition that happens to women when the rectus abdominis muscles in the abdomen separate during pregnancy, my gym trainer points out that my case is purely aesthetic. Because of my ab separation, I now have a little “pooch” that I can pinch generously. I’ve gone up two clothing sizes since giving birth for the first time three years ago, and I can’t even come close to being my pre-baby weight.
“Your lower core muscles just need a little bit more work, but it’s minor,” she explained. “But I know you want to look great in a bikini, so let’s do this.” Now that I think about it, I’ve shelled out the same amount I would have spent on a designer bag on fixing the appearance of my abdominal muscles. Do I feel bad about it? Not at all. I think for once, I’m going to do me. I know I’m probably not going to ever weigh 100 pounds again, but I’d like to get back in shape, get stronger, and healthier.
My sons, born less than two years apart, happen to love the softness of my belly. They love blowing raspberries into it and wrapping their arms around my torso, giving me vice-like hugs. They think it’s funny when I pinch my excess skin and make blubbering noises. My husband doesn’t mind my new curves. He claims to love them and shows it by constantly showering me with kisses and asking me to have sex with him. He also keeps on telling me I look great—so, why do I still have this nagging voice inside my head?
I’m slowly adjusting to this new body. After all, there are other more important things to worry about, like what the heck am I going to cook for dinner. I keep on trying to be this super mom who’s handson, has a rockin’ bod, and a great career. But that super mom doesn’t exist and will never exist beyond social media. Those super moms probably have legions of stylists, dietitians, nannies, and personal trainers at their beck and call, not to mention awesome photo editing apps for their selfies.
In a world of Insta-moms, super moms, and their sparkle-filtered, pictureperfect version of motherhood, it’s time we got real. They’re there for inspiration. No one has it all together all the time. These days, I’m working on becoming the best, healthiest, and strongest version of myself, for me and for my family. And if that means I need to work out more and eat better—so be it. Everyone—regardless of whether they are moms or not—is just trying to be comfortable in and proud of our bodies. And that’s the truth.
“THE
NEED TO LOOK LIKE I’VE BOUNCED BACK TO MY PRE-BABY BODY IS SOMETHING THAT I CONSTANTLY
ABOUT” THINK