HOW I BEAT THE HOLIDAY BLUES
How does one keep family Christmas traditions when living abroad?
Growing up in Manila, Christmas has always been a big deal. In my home, it started on the first week of November, after the school semester break, with my mom taking boxes out of storage to decorate not only a big tree with fresh pine leaves delivered from Baguio, but also the rest of the house with candy canes, tinsel and mistletoe, and of course, an advent wreath and a belen. Gifts would start coming on the last week of November, ranging from corporate calendars and mugs, to more luxurious care packages of imported treats, queso de bola, sweet Christmas ham and wines. By December, everything would be in full swing. As a kid, I would wake up at 4 AM to go to Simbang Gabi, more because of the novelty of it than anything else, and to eat puto bumbong after. We would host Christmas dinners for friends and Noche Buena always took place in our home, with relatives trekking over right before midnight to feast, celebrate and exchange presents. Things changed a bit when we all moved to Australia in 2006. That was our first taste of spending the holidays away from all the traditions we had gotten used to. Suddenly, we were spending Christmas Eve with just the immediate family. My mom kept tradition of having a Noche Buena, albeit a smaller, simpler version and after meeting people and building new friendships there, our traditional big Christmas Eve celebration became our traditional big Christmas day BBQ with the family we had made in Sydney.
SAME SAME, BUT DIFFERENT
Needless to say, Christmas has always been an important and joyful affair for me. And now that I am coming into my 4th Christmas living in Paris, far from even my immediate family, there are things I miss a lot, but for every one thing I miss, there is something about being here for the holidays that replaces it to make me feel a little closer to home. For instance, the Philippines loves decorating and lighting up the city streets during the Christmas season, and Paris is no different. Here you will see that most of the quartiers, or neighborhoods decorate their main streets with lights, lanterns and decorations from late November until right after the feast of the Epiphany, or what we call the Three Kings. The big department stores join in the festivities as well, with Galleries Lafayette’s annual towering Christmas tree and Le Bon Marche’s fun window displays.
In the Philippines, we love our holiday food like tsokolate, bibingka and puto bumbong, which are sold everywhere on the streets during the Christmas season. I have since learned to also love the fresh homemade soups the veggie stands sell, or the choucroute and paella outside the boucheries and of course, the vin chaud or mulled wine that keeps you boozed up and toasty as you walk the cold Paris streets. One thing that has remained on my Christmas non-negotiables is Noche Buena, though the spread may have changed throughout the years. Here, oysters, lobster and langoustines are abundant, and of course, the season cannot go by without at least a few raclette dinners and eating our weight in foie gras. Since Paris brings a lot transient residents who stay a few years for work, school or love, we invite all the “orphans” with no families over to celebrate with us.
Christmas in the Philippines is always so filled with people, and the one way to make it less lonely here is to celebrate with the friends we have made along the way.
One thing my daughter is still getting used to is not getting a present from everyone she knows. In a big way, I like how it is not expected to give a present to everyone you encounter during the holidays, and gift giving is limited to those in your short list of loved ones. I am not sure if that is a French thing or just because we have less social activities here since we are still fairly new, but it’s nice to get out of the season unscathed and still having money in your bank account. We have less useless clutter lying around as well because of this. And since Christmas is spent with a relatively smaller group of people, I find that spending time together means really spending time and being able to talk to and catch up with every single person in the room with you.
What I’ve realized about spending the holidays abroad, or any special occasion, really, is that it is all a matter of mindset and time. It will always be difficult at first because you feel there are things missing but at the same time, having to figure out how to feel at home in your new environment is no easy feat. The longer you live somewhere though, the more it will feel like home too, if you let it. In the meantime, I do what the rest of the LDR (including family relationships and frienships) population does: get tipsy and greet all my loved ones every Christmas Eve on Facetime! Happy Holidays!
“THE LONGER YOU LIVE SOMEWHERE THOUGH, THE MORE IT WILL FEEL LIKE HOME TOO, IF YOU LET IT ”