THE ESSENCE OF FORGIVENESS

For the past years, I was held back by feelings of anxiety, sadness, guilt, shame and depression. Then, I realized to no longer allowed the past define who I was and who I would be. Yes, we all experienced success and failures.

We all have it, may it be a successful or failed relationship, good and bad situations and even decisions. In my case, I made a right decision- to let go. But letting go of something doesn’t mean forgetting. Cherish the memories. Memories, whether good or bad are part of who we are today. 2018 is about to end. It’s time to reflect and think about people we should forgive before we welcome the new year. It is always the best time to forgive your family members, friends and enemies before the year ends.

As Filipinos, we always hold on to resentment which hinders our goals to live a happy, positive and productive life. We should forgive these people no matter what. Easier said than done. I have a good relationship with my parents. But most of the time, we cannot avoid misunderstandings.

Maybe because we have different principles and perspectives. They are not perfect. In return, I always try my best to understand them. Because deep inside, I know that they want me to be happy.

Then, try to forgive your enemies. It’s not that easy to love our enemies, right? Living with a grudge will not give us a positive life. It will ruin us instead. Everyone has enemies. We can’t avoid them. Who doesn’t have one? I am grateful for my enemies because they helped me to become stronger and a successful person. I valued their opinions and criticisms. And I don’t take their negative words personally. I always say this “Let the past bury its dead”. Don’t dwell on the past. Forgive your expartners. I actually did. Even if it still pains inside.. Acknowledge your mistakes, move forward and learn from it. Don’t blame yourself or your ex for the ruined relationship. New year, new love affair. We can’t find love if we can’t let go of the past. Just a friendly reminder.

2018 is an average year for me. Good job, new dogs, gained more friends and got new Nemesis (which I can’t avoid). Every year, I always forgive myself for all the wrong doings I did for the last twelve months. I am learning to be more compassionate and less judgemental with myself (and others of course). Forgive others but do not forget to forgive yourselves. New year- new opportunities to start a new chapter in our lives. I am excited for 2019. But most of all, always remember that mistakes or failures can help you become a wiser and a better person. Make sure you avoid making mistakes again and again. Forgive but do not forget.

Do you want a clean slate this 2019? Practice forgiveness. Forgive. And I quote Nelson Mandela for reflection when he was in prison for twenty sevenyears “As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn’t leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I’d still be in prison.”