Blessed are the lionhearted
THERE is probably nothing more lifechanging for a man than becoming a father.
Some of history’s most powerful men in the world first raised sons and daughters. They led revolutions, built skyscrapers and shaped the society we knew today, but they also built homes, changed diapers and earned their keep everyday.
We rely on our fathers for all kinds of family support. They are providers, protectors, teachers, playmates, saviors and heroes, no matter what they do and despite their imperfections. Fatherhood is a tremendous job, with very high expectations, but saying it is the greatest thing to happen to a man is not an exaggeration.
Fatherhood has the power to unravel a different dimension in one’s humanity, where it molds you to be a better version of yourself. It takes courage and willingness to sacrifice, because no man will ever be ready for it. They learn in the field.
So fatherhood takes a whole new meaning when one has gained more odds to conquer, like confronting every parent’s biggest fear of all - the risk of losing their child.
Baby Karleene
Thirty-four year-old corporate designer Karl Nuñez and wife Cheenee had Karleene right after their honeymoon. He considers it a double blessing. “I’ve always wanted to marry at 30. I got a bonus when I had my daughter,” Karl shared. Like any firsttime parents, Karl doubted his own capability to raise a family. He is also aware of the things he has to give up. “Happy-go-lucky ako eh. Madali akong mayayaya ng mga kaibigan. Madalas nga namin mapag-awayan ni misis yung lifestyle ko, pero alam ko na dahil family man na ako, dapat serious na ako sa family ko.”
At three years, Karleene has grown to be the life of the party. Her energetic, sweet and makulit presence always warm people’s hearts. Her wit also adds to her charm. She likes Hello Kitty, Peppa Pig and Barbie, Youtube videos and singing Katy Perry songs.
Karleene is nice and a little naughty, a trait Karl proudly shares she got from him. At times, she would tease her parents with a bad word—a taboo at home—just to get their attention.
She would often rat her father out when Karl is having way too much fun. “Daddy, susumbong kita kay mommy, umiinom ka na naman ng alak,” she’d warn.
A month ago, this precious little child was recently diagnosed with Langerhans Cell Histiocytosis (LCH), a rare disease that occurs when the body accumulates too many immature white blood cells that can potentially damage the other organs.
In layman’s terms, it is not cancer but acts like one.
Rare kind of strength
LCH is a condition where overproduction of Langerhans cells, which normally protect the immune system, form tumors. They manifest in the skin, lymph nodes, spleen, lungs, liver, and bone marrow. It is often diagnosed in childhood, usually between ages 2 and 3.
Among children under the age of 10, yearly incidence is 1 in 200,000. The cause of this disease is still unknown although many possibilities have been explored, such as viruses, exposure to toxins in the environment, family history and geography. Treatment often requires chemotherapy. At Karleene’s age, the thought of undergoing chemo is unbearable.
Karl recalls: “Pinapaliguan siya noon nung nahipo yung left cheek nya, tapos umiyak sya kasi masakit daw. Akala namin mumps lang. The doctor prescribed an antibiotic and somehow the swelling stopped. After one week, bumukol na naman siya. Dahil hindi puwedeng laging pinapainom ng antibiotic kasi maaapektuhan yung bituka niya, we decided to have her confined, para padaanin sa suero niya yung gamot. Finally, the doctor said kailangan kumuha ng tissue sample for biopsy. Hindi ko nagustuhan yung proposed procedure nila. So humingi ako ng second opinion sa Medical City. Another one week of stay there for another set of tests and clearances, mas lalong lumaki yung bukol niya. Parang 4 times sa original size. Kinabahan na ako but I trusted the doctor. Then we were told to wait for the result of the biopsy.”
Agony is in the waiting. Karl and Cheenee waited for several days before the doctor told them to return to the hospital for a “multidisciplinary meeting.” Not knowing what it meant, Karl searched for it on Google. As expected of any online medical search, he had the feeling what he is dreading might be true.
A multidisciplinary team meeting is conducted to talk about treating serious diseases, such as cancer.
“Hindi ako makatulog. Dasal lang ako ng dasal,” Karl shares. “Nung araw mismo ng meeting, naglalakad ako sa may hallway, hindi ko nga alam kung kakayanin ko.”
Around eight doctors were present in the room, all ready to break the news to them gently. Their presence was overwhelming, as they explained to Karl and Cheenee about LCH. “My mind was all over the place,” Karl shares. “My wife won’t stop crying, Karleene was playing with the water bottle and I could not focus on what the doctors were saying. But surprisingly somehow, there was also a feeling of acceptance,” Karl shared. “Those days of waiting gave me that.”
It takes a rare kind of strength to accept the things you cannot control, especially for a father of a sick child. “Na- realize ko na importante ang bawat oras. Hindi mo alam kung ano yung puwedeng mangyari. Naiisip ko din yung mga pagkukulang ko dati, and I was humbled. My faith in the Lord got stronger. I’ve always been religious but it’s different now. I surrendered everything to Him.”
Next week, Karleene is due for surgery. A portacath will be inserted in her upper chest to deliver drugs quickly and efficiently without the risk of damaging her other muscles and tissues. Karleene will be confined for three days, and then her six-week chemo starts.
As a father, Karl has his fears but he chooses faith over doubt. “We get the strength from Karleene. Her smile inspires us. She’s our life and our everything,” Karl shares. “In turn, we will do everything we can to be there with her through this. I hope soon enough my baby will say, “Daddy, magaling na ako.”
Super Nicco
Thirty-nine year old design supervisor Rikki Baranda has always wanted a son. Two years after his marriage with wife Nancy, they had two daughters. Ricci and Nikky, now 12 and 11, grew up to be kind, beautiful and respectful young ladies, Rikki enjoyed every minute of being a father to them. “My daughters are the typical teenage girls. Just like me, mababaw lang ang luha at madaling patawanin. They like dogs and enjoy playing with them and walking them around,” he shares.
“I love the feeling of being there for my kids. I try my best to be there on their milestones,” he adds.
It seemed that Rikki and his wife could not ask for more. The idea of wanting a son seemed remote already. Until last year, to their surprise, Nancy got pregnant with their son.
Watching his dream finally coming true, Rikki’s joy was insurmountable. “I will finally have a son!”
The celebration was cut extremely short. Only a day after Nicco’s birth, the doctor said that he has Down Syndrome.
Unusually fast heartbeat
Rikki recounts the time they knew something was wrong. “After the delivery, my wife felt uneasy because there was commotion among the nurses, but they did not want to say anything. The morning after the birth, when the doctor arrived to check up on Nicco, we were told they had to bring him to the ICU,” says Rikki. “They said Nicco had a fast heartbeat.”
To make matters worse, Nicco also acquired pneumonia in the ICU. So the baby had to stay for 11 days for further observation. It was only after three weeks when the family was told that Nicco has Down Syndrome. Down Syndrome is a lifelong condition among people born with distinct physical features and some degree of cognitive disability. Since half of all affected children are born with a heart defect, Nicco also acquired a congenital heart disease, which will require heart surgery. The surgery costs about P600,000, and they need to secure half of the amount to begin the operation.
What was supposed to be the happiest day of his life became the hardest and most challenging. But there was no time to wallow on the pain. Rikki was quick on his feet to get things going. Aside from the usual help he gets from family and friends, Rikki devises more ways to augment fund-raising efforts for Nicco’s heart surgery. He created a crowdfunding account, aptly named https://www.gofundme.com/supernicco, to reach as many good-hearted and generous people who are willing to help his son. Many of his friends and families have also done big and little things to help his cause. As of this writing, Super Nicco has $2,288 out of the $40,000 target.
Rikki’s two daughters have also owned up to the responsibility of taking care of their brother. “Initially, my daughters had no idea what was happening, until they saw us researching. So they started asking. My wife and I were honest about it, and they accepted the fact that Nicco will never be normal.”
“I saw how much they care. We constantly remind them that down the road, we will not be there when Nicco grows up. Sila lang ang magtutulungan pag matatanda na sila. We tell them dad and mom will give everything they can, but the rest is up to them.”
Their daughters now take turns fulfilling their respective Nicco duties. Nicco needs to be taken care of with utmost attention as he cannot see and cannot move on his own yet. At 5 months, he only weighs five pounds. His extreme fragility entails that he needs all kinds of assistance, and lots of love, patience and understanding.
Rikki’s family has more than enough of the latter.
At Nicco’s weakest, Rikki is at his strongest as this is going to be a lifelong commitment between father and son. Nicco will always have extraordinary needs, and Rikki and his family will soldier on and will try to be always one step ahead for him. For now, Nicco fuels his confidence, optimism and faith. He does not feel sorrow or anger. He only has hope. “Everything happens for a reason. I know God doesn’t make mistakes.”