Anna Bayle on motherhood

(Excerpts from an interview for a documentary by Albert Almendralejo)

What was your view of motherhood during your modeling days, especially during the peak of your career?

I was not ready for motherhood when I was working as a model. A model’s life is not the ideal time for motherhood—I did not eat, I smoked a lot, I did not exercise. At that time, I also would have been too self-absorbed to comprehend and fulfill my duties as a mother.

The day you found out you were going to be a mom—how did you feel? What was going on inside your head?

What I remember the most is when I was told by the doctor that I was going to have a son... I was alone during that time, in my seventh month of pregnancy, because my husband and I were separated... For some reason, I was so very happy that it was going to be a boy.

What was your reaction when you saw baby Callum for the first time?

Immense joy. I was actually crying when Callum was born. The doctor was so nervous that I had a fever and my vital signs were not great, that he decided to do an emergency C-section. I was wide awake and I was saying, “No!” but my husband had decided for me.

I really did not want to be cut. I wanted the delivery of the baby to be normal.

The nurse finally said to me, “Please don’t cry. Look, your baby is perfect!”

And when I did look as she put Callum in my arms, he was indeed beautiful. He had a perfect head!

How did you handle the transition from being model to mom? What adjustments did you have to make?

I was already retired from modeling when I had Callum. I was in the middle of running my very successful lipstick line. There were major adjustments but I was able to handle them.

I was a chain smoker, but during the nine months that I was pregnant, I did not smoke.

It was also very hard for me to eat, as I was not in the habit of eating.

Would you say motherhood came naturally to you?

Yes, I think it did... The very first time I went to pick up Callum from the nursery to bring him to my room, he was in a roller bassinet that the hospital provided. I remember walking super, super slow, while I wheeled him so that he would not get traumatized by the motion... I also made sure he did not hear any loud noises, no TV, no radio.

I remember sleeping on the floor on the rug beside Callum’s crib in his room, when I had a perfectly comfortable kingsized bed in my bedroom.

At the same token, I was not really prepared when Callum arrived. It is not a secret that my marriage did not work and that my pregnancy was not the happiest one because my ex-husband and I were having difficulties.

One of the funniest things that happened when Callum was in preschool, about 5 years old. Martin Luther King’s Day is celebrated by the Americans and on that day in preschool, they were probably talking about Martin Luther King. I was changing his diaper when all of a sudden, Callum asked me, “Mom, are you black?”

Was Callum hard or easy to discipline?

Callum is the easiest child, I believe if you surround your child with love, everything is easy.

I have always believed that as parents, we are responsible for a child’s physical, emotional, mental and spiritual well-being. I took that job very seriously and was very present in my child’s life as he grew.

What did you find the most challenging or the hardest about raising Callum?

Probably the hardest time for me was when he went off to college. I did not prepare myself for the separation.

What did you learn from your own mom or from moms you know that you found most helpful?

My mother, Elisea Aquino Bayle, was a stay-at-home mother for her first three children and I benefited a lot from that. I had a lot of attention and help with my studies so I became an honor student.

I did the same for my son. It is up to us parents to guide them and teach them.

Would you say you’re overprotective? Why or why not?

My son was born in New York City. Callum is a real New Yorker, streetsmart and alert. I do not think I was overly protective. I let Callum walk around the city when he was 13 or 14.

I do not let him go out with people that I don’t know and have never met. He would have to introduce them to me.

As Callum is getting much older and carving his own place in the world, has it been easy or hard for you to let go?

It was very difficult for me to let go. It has been hours of therapy, on my part, to be able to ease up and let him live his life.

Until I understood that we had “conflicting needs,” only then was I able to let go. Callum’s need was to go out and make new friends. My need was to keep him as close to me as possible.

Then I understood. I told myself I have already lived my life and I was really very free and independent. I should let my son live his life, because he is just starting his own life.

What makes you proud to be Callum’s mom?

Everyone tells me that Callum is very good-looking and smart. I am very proud of him not because of that, but because he has a very kind heart and he knows how to love.

What have you learned from Callum?

I definitely learned about unconditional love.

I definitely learned that there is no limit to what I can do for my son. Even when I am so very tired, when he asks something of me, I will do it.

I definitely learned that there is no limit to what I will do for my son.

I definitely learned patience.