FIL-BELGIAN LGBT COUPLE OBTAIN BLESSING AMID BARRIERS
The buzz inside the function room was festive, chirpy with gayspeak.
But when the ceremony began in earnest, all that remained was the hum of air-conditioning and the reassuring sermon of Rev. Crescencio “Ceejay” Agbayani of LGBTS Christian Church Inc., as he presided over the union of Marc and Dimple.
“Sexuality is not a choice, but love is,” Agbayani said, blessing the couple—a Belgian man and a Filipino transgender woman 47 years his junior—at the gathering held at a resort in Hermosa, Bataan province.
Couples that make that “choice,” however, find themselves facing a lot of barriers in a predominantly Roman Catholic country that forbids same-sex marriage. The Family Code of the Philippines maintains that “marriage is a special contract of permanent union between a man and a woman.”
As such, same-sex couples can undergo religious ceremonies like what Marc and Dimple did, but the rites are not legally binding. They won’t enjoy the same legal and civil rights and privileges of heterosexual couples, such as receiving a partner’s employment benefits, the security of having communal property, insurance benefits and being able to adopt.
Love via Facebook, Skype
There are no official statistics on the number of Filipinos who identify themselves as LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender) but a 2015 Social Weather Stations survey found that 85 percent of Filipinos support the protection of the LGBT community from discrimination.
An expression of such support showed on a summer day in April, when about 50 friends and relatives of the bride gathered to celebrate the union between 30year-old Dimple and Marc, 77.
The two met on a Facebook group for lady boys and, according to Dimple, they have since “had an on-and-off relationship for the past two years. We talk on Skype all the time.”
Dimple said their conversations usually revolved around what she was doing in the Philippines. Marc, a retired infotech professional, often talked about his three children from his two previous marriages.
The resort ceremony on April 11 was actually their first time to see each other in the flesh.
Dimple said it was Marc who proposed that they have a church union. She recalled that a friend of hers had undergone such rites in Manila, with Agbayani also officiating.
Asked if she was still nervous about opening a new, deeper chapter in their relationship, she said: “It’s not in the length of the relationship. It’s how you feel for each other.”
Their age gap, language barrier and cultural differences don’t matter now, she said. “Sometimes it’s difficult for us to understand each other because we aren’t that fluent in English but we do understand each other’s actions.”
‘Most accepting’
While the Philippines is considered one of the “most accepting” countries in Asia with regard to attitudes toward the LGBTs, it was only recently that the House of Representatives approved the Sexuality Orientation or Gender Identity (Sogi) bill. The proposed legislation criminalizes discrimination and violence on the basis of a per- son’s sexual orientation and gender identity.
Congress, however, has yet to approve the Civil Partnership Bill, which legally recognizes and protects the union of couples who do not marry in church, including LGBTs.
Both the Sogi and Civil Partnership bills are being championed by Bataan Rep. Geraldine Roman, the country’s first transgender congresswoman.
‘Love is love’
Belgium, Marc’s home country, was the second country in the world (after the Netherlands) to legalize same-sex marriage. “If you love someone, then (it’s) OK! Boy or girl (it’s) OK,” the two-time divorcee said. “Man, woman, it’s the same. Love is love.”
Despite the “Certificate of Holy Union” that he and Dimple obtained from their Bataan wedding, he doubted that the Belgian government would honor the document and let him bring her there as his wife.
Because of this, Marc said he would just have to fly to the Philippines every year to see Dimple. It will be expensive, but “I will find a solution. I always find (a) solution.”