Sun Star Bacolod

Maintainin­g peace at home

- BY NIRMLA MOTOOMULL

N

OBODY can exactly say or do the right thing all the time. So it is easy to misinterpr­et what you say or do and misconstru­e your motive. Nev

It is also important to remember that difference­s of opinion do not necessaril­y mean that your family life is disintegra­ting. How you handle disagreeme­nts can determine how tranquil or hostile your home environmen­t will be.

Herewith are some reminders that may help us to avoid conflict, keep peace, and reinforce lasting bonds in our family, if some of us have already forgotten them.

Keep your volume down and your tone conciliato­ry. One family member’s impatience can easily rouse another’s anger. Resist the urge to be sarcastic, to be insulting, or to raise your voice, no matter how you may feel.

Carefully consider what needs to be said and how to say it. Say something to soothe your loved one’s hurt feelings. And rather than dictating how he or she should feel, humbly ask for clarificat­ion and express thanks for any help or insight you may receive.

Explain what you will do to rectify the situation. You can apologize for getting irritated, responding the way you did or unintentio­nally contributi­ng to the upset, although you are convinced that you have done nothing wrong. Do not let negative emotions cause you to lose sight of your main objective which is maintainin­g peace. Stop retaliatin­g. It takes two to argue but when one begins listening instead of speaking, a heated exchange may start to cool down. Therefore, resist the urge to retaliate when provoked. Maintain your self-respect and dignity by controllin­g yourself.

Acknowledg­e your family member’s feelings. Active and empathetic listening without interrupti­ng or prejudging can do much to quell anger and restore peace. Give yourself time to cool down. If your emotions are volatile, it may be wise to excuse yourself politely and walk away for a short while to cool down.

This is not being uncooperat­ive or evasive, nor is it the silent treatment where someone refuses to communicat­e. Rather, this is perhaps a good time to pray to God for patience, insight, and understand­ing.

Do not give up maintainin­g peace in your home. Even when some of your family members do not seem to cooperate with you, it is still worth the effort to be a peacemaker because those who promote peace is assured to experience joy sooner or later.*

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