Developing self-esteem in children
A LOT of parents would tend to be reactive when their children fail a test or miss the mark in a competition. They are harsh and would rebuke their kids. Let’s face it. When parents are severe to their kids, it doesn’t help remediate a problem. Instead, the child’s feeling is hurt and his spirit crushed.
Parents who adopt a more positive attitude towards children’s failure are more likely to build self-esteem in children. When your child fails a test or assignment, help him interpret a problem as an opportunity to learn and grow rather than regarding it as a failure. Whether he or she has flunked a primary school spelling test or a quiz in high school science, ask him what he could have done to be better prepared and help him to implement a plan to succeed next time.
Parents can help their children by responding and not reacting. Parents’ guidance and support play a crucial role in helping kids do well. Their support can put children’s essential emotional needs in balance. Rather than chastising your kid, encourage him or her more and say he or she can still do better next time.
Some children struggle with self-esteem. I read that sometimes poor self-esteem can be deeply rooted and have its origins in traumatic childhood experiences such as prolonged separation from parent figures, neglect, or emotional, physical, or sexual abuse. If you think this is a particular problem for a child you happen to know, you can refer to a healthcare professional for proper assistance. Therapy and counseling may enable the child to talk about such experiences and try to come to terms with them.
Self-esteem equips your child with the confidence he or she will need to succeed not only in the classroom but in life. As parent you can provide constant positive reinforcement. Just don’t forget to be descriptive to help your child learn to recognize his accomplishments rather than seek approval. You may give remarks like, “You certainly worked very hard for this project” or “You stayed dedicated to studying your math every evening last week.” Bolstering your child’s self-esteem entails taking time for her or him and giving her or him or full attention. Always lift her or him up by giving encouraging words. Avoid issuing statements that can dampen his or her spirit and make him or her devalue him/ herself. Make your child feel that he or she is a worthy person despite shortcomings. Making your child feel he or she is loved unconditionally is the best way to boost his or her self-esteem.
By Ellene Celino-Nimer