Positive discipline
LATELY, discipline amongst children seems to disappear rapidly. Many children are deliberately disobedient in different ways. Gone are the days when just a glance from our parents, we know already that we needed to act in a right manner.
In those days, we are aware that there is an appropriate punishment for our misbehaving. A whip on the butt, a pinch on our cheek or worse an involuntary fasting for a meal are some of the prizes of going against the rule. We are also sometimes forced to do hard labor too, for defying an order.
Disciplinary measures were quite rough before despite the existence of laws on children’s right. Article 59, no. 8 of the Presidential Decree No. 603 signed by the then President Ferdinand Marcos on December 10, 1974 states that, “Criminal liability shall be attach to any parent who inflicts cruel and unusual punishment upon a child or deliberately subjects him to indignation and other excessive chastisement to embarrass or humiliate him”.
Yet, while those laws exist, a study conducted by Save the Children United Kingdom in 2005 on corporal punishment in the Philippines discloses that 85% of the punishment experienced by children is done inside the home. It came out also that among the punishment they experienced, 65% of it is spanking. Aside from this, 82% of the children that were interviewed also reported that they had been hit on different parts of their bodies.
The World Report on Violence and Health in 2002 confirmed these findings. It reported that 75% of the Filipino children who took part in the study said that they had experienced spanking. With regards to verbal or emotional punishment, yelling or screaming was the most common form. 82% of those Filipino mothers who were interviewed admitted to have shouted at their children, while 48% threatened their children with abandonment.
But, with the coming in of positive discipline, the prohibition of corporal punishment is intensified. As the word implies, disciplining our children should be in a desirable or admirable manner. According to Alfred Adler, the grandfather of Individual Psychology, “All human beings (that includes children) deserve to be treated with human dignity and respect.
While being disobedient needs to be weeded out of children, we need to do it in such a way that consequences should not be punitive in nature but rather a way of teaching those lessons that would prepare them to become responsible member of the society.
In positive discipline, the feelings of a child must also to be taken into consideration. A child is encouraged to share his feelings and to speak out his mind.
He is not only a listener but he takes part in the discussion of his mistake and as to what possible solution could be done to avoid such mistake again. Positive discipline would also mean encouraging our children in all their endeavor so that it might also be of help in their recognition of their full potential.
As the Greek Philosopher Plato said,” Do not train a child to learn by force or harshness, but direct them to it by what amuses their minds, so that you may be better able to discover with accuracy the peculiar bent of the genius of each”.