Sun.Star Cebu

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OK’S useful diet guide

- By Ober Khok (ober.khok@yahoo.com)

How many diary-planners do you need in a year?

The way I received planners this year from my business clients, you would conclude a guy needs seven. Among the seven I received, I chose to use the one that had the following (the six others I’m sharing with my friends):

Standard world times; a 2013 calendar; world holidays (but it’s useless as it doesn’t show what for); internatio­nal airport abbreviati­ons; one spread for world informatio­n (wow, Manila is the capital of the Philippine­s. I always thought it was “M”). It even has a calorie and cholestero­l counter with content. That’s more like it. A man needs a food counter to guide him through the rough journey to good health.

What do you think would happen when that same man blindly follows the calorie and cholestero­l counter? Disaster!

So this is my experience, which I call “OK’S Useful Diet Guide,” and by now you should know me well to believe I am not joking. Bazinga! (It’s a substitute for “just kidding” or “fooled you”; first used by Sheldon Cooper, a character in Big Bang Theory.)

Be sure you have today’s Sun.star Cebu as this sampler appears in the paper only today. When the diet book comes out, it will cost P250 even in your friendly village store.

Many dieters fail when they succumb to the lure of fat and sugar. Any way you turn diet plans, the quest for a sylphlike figure is sabotaged by the craving for the bad kind of fuel. But with my diet guide, you get all the fiber you can stand, plus eat ice cream every day. The diet plan is fool-proof because it was created by a good-looking guy who is not only foolish but has proof of it. Bazinga!

I studied the calorie and cholestero­l counter in my diary-planner and approved of it since it contains all the basic foods to sustain basic life such as mine.

The only weakness is the lack of calorie-cholestero­l ratio for all the foods on the list. For example, plain cake (68 Cal for two slim slices) has no cholestero­l equivalent under the Cholestero­l Content (mg) portion. This is dangerous. The omission it in my book. becomes my license to kill, I mean, install the You’d beverage dance list has The soft Creep drinks, when champagne, you know beer that and dog, milkshake. hamburger, It and has cakes, ice cream. crackers apple pie, hot fried Some bacon foods has are 64 high Cal) in and calories high in (one cholestero­l strip of (cow’s cow brain brain when has I’m 2,300 already Cal, bullheaded—bazinga). but why should I eat Since I want you to buy my book, I will just give you a sneak peek of my diet guide based on my diary-planner. I’m sure you will lose weight.

Breakfast: corn flakes (half cup, 83 Cal) mixed with ice cream (one small cup, 68 Cal; evaporated milk has 8 Cal per teaspoon, so go figure); coffee (5 Cal) with one teaspoon white sugar (14 Cal); and plain cake (one slice, 34 Cal).

Mid-morning snack: one cup steamed carrots (54 Cal) and scrambled egg white (15 Cal; cook in non-stick pan; no oil).

Lunch: ice cream (one small cup); half cup egg noodles (60 Cal; rice has 263 Cal); jelly fish strips (16 Cal) mixed with one cup shredded lettuce (14 Cal) and salad dressing (one teaspoon, 34 Cal). For optimum weight loss, switch with peanut butter, 24 Cal; or jam, 18 Cal; or tomato sauce, 5 Cal as dressing.

Mid-afternoon snack: ice cream (half cup) and one saltine cracker (12 Cal).

or beer, Dinner: 95 Cal); one cup one beverage cup steamed (champagne, cauliflowe­r 74 Cal (28 Cal) and sea cucumber (one cup, 15 Cal); juice of half a lemon (10 Cal) with one teaspoon honey (22 Cal) for dressing.

In conclusion, I seriously declare—bazinga!

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