Dad has a mistress

Dear Cindy,

Dear Christine,

I wrote because I would like to ask your help for my best friend. We have been friends since our elementary days. We only became separated when we went to different schools. The means of communications that bind us are the Internet and the cell phone.

She comes from a wealthy and almost perfect family. She has everything: money, good school and a very supportive family. Or so we thought. After all the heaven-like life, they found out that their father has a mistress.

Because of this, she confided in me that she thought of rebelling against her parents. Her parents often fight, and she’s already sick and tired of her life. But then, I was so happy when she told me that she thought about it and decided not to. I am so worried about her and I want to console her.

Christine

I am sorry to learn of your friend’s misfortune. Unfortunately, this situation is becoming more and more prevalent in our society today. I think the most important thing that you can do for your friend is to be there when she wants to talk about it all.

You are not going to be able to solve her problem for her. However, you can provide some of the support she may need to help her cope with all of the emotions and difficulties surrounding the problem. Encourage her not to be judgmental of her father. Yes, he has done the wrong thing, and in so doing caused hurt and division in the family. The best possible outcome for the situation is for her father to break off his relationship with his mistress and return to being faithful to his wife.

The best way to facilitate this happening, I believe, is for your friend to remain in a close relationship with her father and try to encourage him through her own love for him, to come back to his wife. In this case, it is important for your friend to respect her father in his role as head of the family, but at the same time she should in no way feel that she has condone what he has done.

Christine, do your best to love her despite the mood swings that may affect her, and try to encourage her to keep her heart free of bitterness and resentment. These two things will only serve to eat away at her own life to make her more and more miserable. Encourage her to remain in the best possible relationship with both her mother and her father as rebelling will not help the situation. God bless,

Cindy