Expectations

So we survived another D—I mean V—day, meaning it’s time to set aside all the chocolate and sweetness and focus on things that matter more, like the NBA All-Star Game (which should be playing out when this article is published).

All kidding aside, every public celebration (like Thanksgiving and Christmas) is yet another time for us to be bombarded by advertisements left and right about the proper, right way to spend that day. Jollibee and McDonalds have cornered the V-day market, churning out videos that either leave people feeling kilig enough to hug 10 babies or grossed out enough to taser 10 lovey-dovey couples. And I argue that one of the reasons that happens is the expectations these ads project. We’re either so inspired to meet those expectations or disappointed that our own love stories are pretty meh in comparison.

It rarely stops at love. Media fills us with enough 30-second videos to make us feel like we’re not doing enough in life. Having problems balancing your workweek? Suck it up, buttercup, Elon Musk deals with 10 times the stuff you do and manages to have the countenance of an enlightened Buddha.

Feeling burned out? Deal with it, Anthony Bourdain had to start as a line chef and now travels the world to eat for a living. At some point, expectation and reality become harder and harder to reconcile with in our lives, leading to discouragement or giving up.

But I argue that there are more to these stories than meet the eye. What I really want published is not the “made it” part of these people’s lives but the daily, boring drudgery they had to go through and endure for years upon years before finally making it. Maybe then I could find a sense of authenticity and relatability with these people when I see what they did in the mundane days that made them stand out.

Expectations rarely coincide with reality. And the pessimist in me argues that when they do, there’s always a catch. Let’s go back to Jollibee for a second. Whatever your feelings regarding their ad, remember that it’s only one part of the story. They show a couple getting together after braving the odds, but not what happens after. Do they never argue about where to have dinner? (No, because sa Jollibee, bida ang sarap!) Is the toilet seat supposed to go up or down?

And I get where media’s coming from. Everyone wants to see the sweet, manicured IG post about how #loved this year’s V-day made you feel, but no one wants to see the behind-thescenes work that a couple has to do to make a relationship work.

Let’s temper our expectations. Don’t take media as gospel truth, and—definitely—don’t try to emulate someone without understanding his or her backstory first. Maybe then expectations and reality would finally line up with each other.

As of writing, I expect Team Steph Curry to demolish Team LeBron.