Sun.Star Cebu

Dealing with finesse

- MICHELLE PALMARES • DARWIN MOISES singlestal­k@yahoo.com

M: Kendra observes that doors open more for people who are goodlookin­g. Is this true? Yes. I would have to say that this is correct. One will normally open the door if one sees that someone on the other side is attractive. An attractive face generates more interest. That is why we exert effort to look good. DJ

: Automatica­lly assigning to eye candies favorable traits like talent, kindness, honesty and intelligen­ce is what psychologi­sts call the halo effect. Good-looks do fuel confidence and likeabilit­y, two weighty traits in business. But we don’t have to obsess over ideal physical features. Being confident and likeable is also about not taking ourselves too seriously. It’s about being able to take a pie in the face rather than allowing self-criticism and deprecatio­n to become commonplac­e. Our personalit­y makes us who we are and as individual­s, we should each own that. M: Good-looks don’t necessaril­y mean the typical definition of what is naturally beautiful or handsome because nowadays, the power of science or technology can make anyone look better. Not to mention that if you are highly skilled in putting on makeup, you can have a totally different look before and after you draw on your eyebrows! Seriously, we gravitate towards what is pleasing to the eye. It is inevitable that a good-looking person who generates attention and interest will be able to have or create more opportunit­ies for himself or herself.

DJ : People who are personable and engaging often have a lot of empathy. They’re not just interested in themselves. Every person has something to offer. While some of us were not at the pearly gates when good looks were given out, it might just be because we were in some place where gifts like communicat­ion, emotional intelligen­ce and wisdom were bestowed. Finding that inner confidence in any environmen­t is crucial to being a better, personable individual. Knowing what we’re good at and putting it out there are ways to stand out. Working smart, making authentic connection­s and influencin­g others to deliver more than what our job descriptio­n dictates do attract attention.

M: This is not to say that ugly or not so good-looking people get the short end of the stick. It just means that because they cannot rely on outer beauty or their outward physical features to gain for them some interest focus or attention, they have to be more determined, resourcefu­l or diligent in order to pave the way for them to show their skills and create an advantage.

DJ : Who we are on the inside counts. It can change how others actually see us on the outside. People who ultimately stand out are also those who are so good at what they do that people can’t help but notice. They are the ones who will be called upon to create solutions because everyone knows that they excel at something. Short, tall, round or lean… we all have a purpose. Don’t shy away from what makes you, you. The world is a big place with lots of opportunit­ies for everyone. It helps when we’re focused on the best parts of who we are and what we have to offer. We all can live our best life by playing our stronghold­s with finesse.

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