Mother 2

Sun.Star Cebu - - OPINION - MELANIE T. LIM melani­[email protected]­

My mother is gone. But till to­day, she is with me, still. Dur­ing her weak­est mo­ments, Mama re­mained thought­ful, lov­ing and kind. Ev­ery time I fed her, she would say, “Go, eat now.” When I made her some­thing to eat past meal times, she’d say, “I’m sorry you had to do this.”

She al­ways said, “thank you” for ev­ery lit­tle thing I did for her. But I can’t re­mem­ber if I ever thanked her for ev­ery­thing she did for me.

It was my priv­i­lege to serve my mother dur­ing the last months of her life. But I still wish I could have loved her more, that I could have loved her bet­ter, that I could have done more for her, that I could have done bet­ter.

But I rest in the thought that God granted her all her re­quests—to pass away peace­fully, to go in her sleep, to leave in the morn­ing.

I rest in the thought that we were able to grant her what she wanted—no hos­pi­tal­iza­tion, no in­tu­ba­tion, pri­vacy through­out her ill­ness, the dig­nity of dy­ing in her home sur­rounded by the peo­ple who loved her.

But we could not have done it alone. God was with us all the way.

He sent us many mir­a­cles. We had such great days that my sis­ter be­gan to hope. “Stop. Don’t,” I told her. “It will only hurt more if you de­lude your­self into think­ing all is well. Let’s not be greedy. Let’s just be grate­ful for all the great days God is giv­ing us with Mama.”

God sent us many an­gels. Our fam­ily was for­tu­nate to have been sur­rounded by peo­ple who lov­ingly cared for my mother, who fer­vently prayed for her and who stood stead­fast and strong with all of us when the days were long and the nights were longer.

May God re­ward you all for your kind­ness, gen­eros­ity and love for Mama.

I make spe­cial men­tion of two peo­ple, among the count­less for whom no words are enough to ex­press our grat­i­tude.

First, my fa­ther. From the mo­ment I told him about my mother’s di­ag­no­sis, I had his un­wa­ver­ing sup­port. He did not ever sec­ond-guess our de­ci­sions and this was cru­cial to the fam­ily dur­ing the most dif­fi­cult mo­ments.

Thank you, Pa, for be­ing our rock. You showed us what love re­ally is all about. You stayed strong for Mama and you un­selfishly let her go de­spite how painful it must have been for you to do so.

Sec­ond, my cousin, Joy. Thank you for sac­ri­fic­ing pre­cious fam­ily time to take care of Mama. Thank you for trust­ing me, for al­low­ing me to work side by side with you but most es­pe­cially for giv­ing me the op­por­tu­nity to co-man­age with you de­spite my lack of a med­i­cal de­gree.

Be­cause of you, I was able to live out my fan­tasy of be­ing a doc­tor. But you made Mama giddy too be­cause you also ful­filled her fan­tasy of hav­ing a doc­tor daugh­ter. She was proud of me. And she called me Doc too.

Thank you, Joy. It was an honor to work with you.

My mother is gone. But I know she will for­ever be with me. Now.

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