Over the hill
There is nothing like illness that makes you seriously think about your impending loss of invincibility. We’ve always known that we won’t live forever but death seems remote when you are young, strong and healthy.
Well, those were the days.
Some say age is just a number. Not really. Well, at least not for me. I don’t feel 20 or 30 or 40. I really feel 50. Sorry, ladies, somehow, when you say it out loud, it just keeps getting easier to drop at every sentence. Yes, I feel 50.
My body doesn’t feel 20, 30 or 40 but I don’t expect it to be which is why I am often baffled by the claims of many women I meet that they don’t feel their age at all. All I can say to these fabulously fortunate women... good for you! But I don’t feel the same way.
Today, I can’t afford to get sick because I know recovery will not be quick—well, at least not as quick as I would like it to be. Or maybe I’m just too impatient. I like to hit the ground running every day but realistically, that can no longer be done on any given day. Because some days are better than others.
I can no longer pull those all-nighters in a row and expect to remain unscathed. Soon, I will have to say goodbye to working long hours and late nights. I confess it’s immensely hard to pull myself away from my desk at 12 midnight and so far, I have not yet really succeeded in all my attempts to do.
I really have to be ill to be in bed by 12 midnight.
I try to live healthy but I can’t control the quality of the air I breathe or the quality of the water I drink. And in most cases, it’s very hard for me to control the quality of the people I meet every day in the course of work which is where I derive the greatest amount of stress from.
But then again, while I may not be in control of many things, I am in control of my response to the many uncontrollable factors in my life. So at the end of the day, I am still in control of the quality of my life.
On a recent health emergency while on vacation, my friend, Camille, tells me, in its aftermath, “…I was happy to be given the opportunity to take care of Superwoman…”
Alas, I am Superwoman no more.
I hear it all the time. I don’t feel my age at all. Well, I do. But I can tell you quite frankly that while I very much feel my age, I am not upset by how I feel.
True, I am invincible no more. But I will not despair. I will retire my cape and move on to the many other adventures, no doubt, waiting for me, “over the hill.”
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