Riding multicabs with camels, Elmo, etc
AS I write there is a looming nationwide transport strike (and you would read this after that) but what makes it interesting is that in Davao City, the local government sees it as an opportunity to examine public transportation. In her statement, Mayor Sara said: Let us all take this opportunity to observe the streets with fewer jeepneys and more buses as envisioned in the High Priority Bus System project for the Dabawenyos.
The strike is supposed to protest the “scrapping of PUVs and the trip management scheme”. The proposed HPBS will replace the jeeps plying the main routes of Davao City. Plans for this haven’t been fully disclosed by the ADB team that has studied how Davao City breathes life into its streets. The idea that a mass transport system is being eyed is inspiring because it tells me that my city is not blind and deaf to the woes that a commuter is subjected to on a daily basis.
A year ago I know I wrote a long piece about riding jeepneys especially multicabs. There was a point in my life that when I wanted to think, I’d ride the jeep ‘to clear my mind’. That no longer works. Riding the multicab (yes, specifically the multicab) brings out that inner beast that wants to lash out on the progenitor of the multicab. The thought of riding a vehicle that was meant to carry vegetables from the farms in Japan converted to carry people is not really a flattering thought. Add to that the fact that the passengers are rammed inside the limited space like vegetables too. Or sardines. The space is too constricted that if I were some alien lifeform from Star Trek who has her repro organ on her knees, I’d have hundreds of babies by now with the number of stranger’s knees mine has kissed.
Riding the multicab has become so vexing that I’ve classified some annoying commuters and given them names. There are CAMELS —or passengers carrying backpacks and refuse to remove their backloads before they board the jeep or even when they are already inside the vehicle. Since they don’t have eyes at the back of their heads, they cannot see who or what has been hit by their backload when they get on the multicab.
Then there’s the ELMOs -- a term I recently coined to mean ‘almoranas’ (hemorrhoids) out of spite for those passengers who insist to sit sideways when the ‘proper’ way to sit is with your legs (or knees, for that matter) facing the opposite seat. “Parang may almoranas lang”
Of course, I won’t miss those guys who sit inside the jeeps with legs wide open. I call them BEKS. Whatever that means is unpublishable so ask your gay friend for definition.
Who wouldn’t miss the FC’s? FC means feeling close. These would be those passengers who use your knees as props when they go up and down the multicab, or use your shoulder as rest for their backs when they do a semi- Elmo post. At one point, I told one co-passenger, ‘Miss,hindiako sofa’, because it already felt like her whole weight was resting on my shoulder while she was checking out her FB.
Of course, there’s the SUNSELK ladies. These would be the long-haired females who think it is fun having their hair in another person’s nose, eyes, face, etc. I love to try new shampoos so I am familiar with most shampoo scents and believe me, Sunsilk is the most common scent.
It’s either Sunsilk or the conditioner, Cream Silk.
Then there are others who are REXONA-challenged for the most obvious and telling reasons that only the nose knows. There are others on my list but too long to write about. I’m sure if the buses are used to transport commuters, I’d have other categories and names to fit the setting. But, at least, I imagine the alien in me would no longer brush my knees with a stranger’s.