Pensive at year’s end
WHENEVER a year comes to an end, we can’t help but think back on every significant thing that has happened in our lives, be it good or bad.
The end of the year is a good time to acknowledge all our blessings the past year, and pat ourselves in the back if we think we’ve done enough (at the very least). Of course, it is not all happy and pleasant, but we still include the misfortunes as among lessons learned, or experiences that make us stronger in our life battles.
The first three months of 2016 coincided with the first trimester of what would be dubbed as my most difficult pregnancy ever. It was a period characterized by killer nausea, vertigo and fatigue I did not think was possible at the prime of my life. For the next six months of my pregnancy I suffered from anxiety, both for myself and our little one, since I just suffered a miscarriage in 2014, and the internet abounds with nightmarish tales about pregnancy in women over 35 years of age. But I talked myself out of the anxiety, telling myself my faith is much bigger that all of those anxieties combined.
My stepdad passed in May after more than a year’s battle with renal disorder and other complications due to diabetes. It was a heartbreaking time for my family, and this first Christmas without him proves to be very difficult, and we miss him so terribly. But we know he’s smiling upon us from heaven, chuckling at our funny moments.
In September I experienced both joy and pain, when I gave birth to our little Gavino Miguel. The doctors had a hard time severing him from my womb, and it took him quite a while to breathe by himself – I got the scare of my life thinking I would lose him even before I held him in my arms. That night, I feared for my life as my BP became dangerously high, which resulted in my being confined at the ICU. Three months later, our little bundle of joy, our only prince, coos and smiles and cuddles, showing me everything I went through that day in the hospital was worth it.
Career-wise, my life has also been full of triumphs and trials, and parenthood continues to pose challenges all year round.
One of my most favorite authors, Paulo Coelho, wrote: “Life has many ways of testing a person’s will, either by having nothing happen at all or by having everything happen all at once. That probably sums up my year. Eventful, difficult, painful… yet blessed and beautiful. Thank you, 2016. You’re one of the most significant years in my life-story.