Love and oblivion

AT Santiago Bay, Camotes, the dogs live the life. Low tide leaves a wide expanse of fine sand, enjoyed by early morning strollers, selfie worshippers, and dogs. Recently in Camotes, I got to know the mutts very well.

They are Asong Pinoy (Aspin), lean and even bony, with rough coats from living outdoor and eating scraps.

The ones napping on the shore were gradually isolated into isles by the incoming tide. When the water finally lapped too close, a dog snapped awake and plopped down on a drier spot.

While going through the motions of winding up the semester, I took minute breaks from theses defense by holding out my right leg, which bore the silvery shadow of a nail scratch from an Aspin encounter.

To crisscross the borderless sliver separating wideawakeness from oblivion: I envy the dogs. During the last thesis defense of the semester, I glimpsed why, despite our kinship with the canine, we are fated to search for but never find this refuge.

Judelyn Felicilda is one of the strongest-willed young women that I have worked with. Before this month is over, she will don the Sablay, the official garment worn to culminate one’s journey in our university.

For Judhai, the years of searching for knowledge ended on the streets, where she engaged commercial sex workers (CSWs) who are men who have sex with other men (MSM) and transgender women (TG).

Last June 8, Judhai presented a video that seeks to convince CSWs to use a condom in every transaction as a protection from the Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV) and the Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome (Aids).

Judhai’s video rests on testimonies why, even among hardened professionals, love becomes the knife we turn against ourselves. According to her, CSWs fall into two types.

The professionals offer sex for pay. For the non-professionals, “harvat (gay lingo for “harvest,” meaning the need to earn) determines whether money exchanges hands. Yet, some CSWs admit that “harvat” can be set aside for an attractive partner who looks clean (healthy and noninfectious).

However, when the CSW is in love with the partner, “modnoc (condom)” is never used. Over the years, the rise of cases has been accompanied by the rise and fall of monikers for persons living with HIV/Aids: “Gset,” “shitsu,” “posit,” and “josh”. These euphemisms may be attempts to blunt the cut of living with Ida (Aids). As Judhai suggests, teaching CSWs the skills for condom negotiation can zero in on ways on how to cope with love. Who among us is immune to it anyway?

— Mayette Tabada