BROKEN FAMILY: ITS EFFECTS TO CHILDREN
Criselda C. Liscano
“What God has put together let no man put asunder.” This biblical quote is what the old generations put into emphasis to remind people the sanctity of marriage. As the Family Code of the Philippines defines marriage as a “special contract of permanent union between a man and a woman entered into in accordance with law for the establishment of conjugal and family life.” It stipulates the sharing of rights, duties and obligations of the husband and wife in harmony of their offspring’s status. The husband and wife keep the solidarity of marriage and create the most effective institution for the development, integration and socialization of their children, the family.
Family is the basic unit of the society. It is the most important component of a country. Family is said to be a distinct institution where individuals start to grow personally and build relationships among members of the family. It is where parents start to create a big impact in individuals’ lives. Hermes (2013) stated that children initially interact with their parents from which the latter provides examples of desired behaviors that are ought to be learned by the former. McLeod (2011) said that the parents are considered as the influential models of the child. They teach the child values on how to face the reality of life and to develop their own behaviors.
Everyone wants the feeling of security that a family provides. To have a healthy, loving and happy family is what everyone’s dream. But not all families succeed to have one due to lots of differences, maladjustments and misunderstandings which lead the husband and wife to part ways. The separation of parents produces conflicts and anxieties which are generally absorbed by its most helpless members, the children. They are the most affected when the true concept of family falls apart. As Guru, a spiritual teacher stated “When a man divorces his wife or vice versa, a family is being broken apart. And when children are part of that family, it’s not just the adults who suffer. It has long been recognized that the initial impact of divorce can extremely be traumatic for children of all ages.”
Separation of parents which leads to a broken family is the hardest challenge to children. In the broken family one or both parents are absent because of death, divorce, separation or desertion. Thus, despite the progress, beliefs and capabilities that a family formed to them, separation is still the most devastating. It definitely affects the whole-beings of children, gives them a severe impact and it bears the risk of behavioral and emotional problems. Nowadays, with the possible effects of broken family to the persons involve, there are tendencies that these people to do nasty acts, commit actions and behaviors which are considered unacceptable due to family disorientation.
Children from the broken homes may convert their situations into positivity despite the hardships they experienced. May they find interventions that would help them in dealing with these problems that could lead to dealing well to other people. And the people who surround these children, may be more sensitive with their feelings and find the right ways of dealing to them. Everyone must appreciate their existence and actions so they may not feel alone and devastated. For everyone deserves to be loved and be appreciated regardless of the situations that one is experiencing.
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The author is Teacher I at San Roque National High School