Children with Cancer: Life after Hospitalization

Coming home to the family is always an emotional relief. More so for a child who has been hospitalized for cancer. It feels so good sleeping in one's own room again, playing with siblings, and eating meals together with the entire family.

It's a big thing for parents, too; it is great to have the child back at home. The feeling is incomparable and wonderful; it's like seeing the beloved child for the first time. It is true, however, that both the parents and the affected child sometimes feel insecure, even lost.

In many cases, the child feels anxious of how his siblings or his friends may take his ailment, and what possible changes there would be in his relationship with them after his hospitalization. Moreover, after a lengthy hospital stay, clinic visits, and a series of treatments, the child may begin to feel that he disrupts the normal routine of the family - choice of meals, family activities, and school works.

At the back of the child's mind, thoughts like "They will tease me because I'm already bald" or "My siblings won't play anymore with me because they know I'm sick" bother him. There are days and nights that the child cries underneath the covers; or, he loses his appetite for food because of his anxieties.

The rest of the family has to adjust emotionally. And this is not always easy. Younger siblings may not understand the special attention and time the parents give to the affected child, while older siblings may not anymore be checked on about their schooling.

The child with cancer also tries to adjust to the changes in this new phase of his life. Equally, the family must try to keep the child's life as normal as possible. Everyone at home must partake in easing the emotional distress the child with cancer is going through.

Even after hospitalization, there is still a big hurdle for the affected families to overcome. But just do parents, the affected child, and the rest of the family get back to a normal life? The Ramon Aboitiz Foundation Inc.-Eduardo J. Aboitiz Cancer Center (RAFI-EJACC) recommends simple steps that parents and siblings of a child with cancer may adopt:

Follow the usual routine

Sticking to the usual home routine is probably the most important thing the family can do to help the child re-adjust. Children feel comfortable with a routine - they love expecting the usual day activities before the day starts. The child with cancer is no exception.

If, before cancer, the child used to set up the table before every meal, he should be made to continue on that routine. Likewise, he should be made to do or participate in other household chores or activities that are fit for his physical abilities. As much as possible, parents should sound "normal" when talking or discussing chores with the child. And the same rules as before should continue.

The child can also be made to take care of his own medications. With the other house chores or activities, it is better to involve his siblings too, so they all can do it together. By letting the child do simple activities, he feels having control of his life even after hospitalization.

The reading of favorite bedtime stories or the 'I love yous' to the children, including the child with cancer, shall continue.

Establish family activities

A nature trip or a camp activity in the family's backyard is good to have. Each family member shall be given an assignment to work on before the day of the activity. The only thing to remember is not to give the affected child a task that is physically draining for him.

Fun family activities are a best way to create good memories as the hospitalized child comes home. Some families may lose the enthusiasm to have fun because of money constraints or the emotional pain they are going through. However, for the child who was away from the family for a while, a fun environment at home gives some relief from his struggle with the disease.

Cope With Feelings

At the start of the child's ailment, all the children's behavior may change. They often become more demanding, worried, and defiant. They may regress and act more immaturely than they used to. Both the kid with cancer and his siblings may behave this way as they try to adjust to the new situation.

But there's no cause for parents to worry. This is a normal circumstance after the child's hospitalization. The new behaviors are really just ways for the children to cope with their new life. It is advisable to let go of apprehensions and, instead, empathize with the hospitalized child's need for attention.

Keeping a journal or log, helps in acknowledging the child's emotions. Drawing or painting pictures or making a scrapbook helps, too. It keeps the child from feeling so small and insecure due to some physical changes.

The scars of the treatment may remain, but the emotional pain can be cured. With support from the parents and the siblings, the child will be able to express difficult feelings. The child may even gain the confidence to share with others his own story of survival.