Let go of things that are beyond your control
There are times that our days are ruined because of some people’s behavior or situations that are beyond our control. We will be fuming with anger or feel frustrated that no matter how we tried, things did not turn out the way we expected it be. Or that our best is not good enough to the people we love – spouse, children, relatives, or friends.
I have been to bad situations many times before. And what I always do is think or engage in something to overcome my frustration. Like what happened some years back. My son’s driver was supposed to pick me up at the airport. When I arrived, the driver was nowhere to be found. Instead of getting angry, I got my reviewer for the KBP exam (Kapisanan ng mga Broadcaster ng Pilipinas). I focused on studying for the examination while waiting for the driver to appear. After two hours of waiting, the driver arrived. He apologized and told me that there was a miscommunication between him and the secretary.
Lana Fletcher of the book, Chicken Soup For the Recovering Soul, Daily Inspiration said, “Once you accept that you have ‘no control’ over others, you begin to relax and take one moment at a time. Experience the freedom from accepting that you have no control over anyone, but yourself…”
The Zenhabits.net states, “No matter how much structure we created in our lives, no matter how many good habits we build, there will always be things that we cannot control – and if we let them, these things can be a huge source of our anger, frustration, and stress.”
Monk Thich Nhat Hanh declares, “The simple solution is to learn to go with the flow. Smile, breathe, and go slowly.”
To be able to go with the flow or accept change without getting angry or frustrated, our source cites the following tips:
Realize that you can’t control everything. We don’t control the universe. You can’t even control everything within your own little sphere of influence, there are things we can’t control and we must accept that.
Be aware of your thoughts. When you’re becoming upset, put a tally. By doing this, you will become more aware of your anger and frustration.
Breath. When you feel getting angry or frustrated , take a deep breath. Take a few. This is an important step that allows you to calm down. Practice this and you’ll come a long way.
Realize that you can’t control others. Realize that people are acting according to their personality. Maybe it can be our kid, our spouse, or significant others. Accept that we can’t control them. Accept them for who they are, and not on what you want them to be. It’s not easy, but again it helps.
Accept change and imperfection. Accept that the world is constantly changing, and we are part of that change. Instead of wanting things to be perfect, we should accept that they will never be perfect. Remember, life is not static, but a flow of change, never staying the same always.