When You Are So Deeply Hurt

The Freeman - - LIFESTYLE -

It has been said that the per­son you love most, hurts you most. Like the case of an ac­quain­tance, who one day found her hus­band and their maid in a com­pro­mis­ing sit­u­a­tion in their bed­room. In­stead of be­ing en­raged, she tapped her hus­band and said that she was al­ready home. Then she packed

her things and brought along with her their two chil­dren and walked away.

I ad­mired her calm­ness and com­po­sure. But I knew the pain and hurt that she went through – she was deeply wounded and was deeply hurt. When she shared her story, she cried like a wounded an­i­mal badly beaten. Her body shook and tears were stream­ing down her cheeks. She said that it was the big­gest blow she had in her life – the be­trayal and hu­mil­i­a­tion of her as a hu­man be­ing, a wife and a mother to her chil­dren. She said, “I don’t de­serve this kind of treat­ment. I had been a good wife and a mother. Where did I go wrong?” I could not say a word. Her sit­u­a­tion was too over­whelm­ing. I just em­braced her to com­fort her.

The com­me­back­a­cademy.com web­site of­fers the fol­low­ing tips on what to do when the per­son you love most, hurts you the most:

• You will have to for­give. It will take time, a lot of time. For­give­ness is not some­thing that hap­pens in a day – it’s an inch-by-inch process. You may choose to be con­sumed by anger and hate. But that’s not a good way to live a life.

• Con­front what you fear most. If the per­son who hurts you the most wants con­fronta­tion, do not be afraid to face him. Ask from the Lord the power of for­give­ness, and not

al­low anger and hate to linger in your heart.

• Don’t change who you are, just be­cause life changed. Take the high road. Some­times you have to rise above the sit­u­a­tion. Peo­ple will tell you to seek re­venge, be mean, and only look out for your­self. But if that’s not who you are, then take this as a chance to be­come a bet­ter per­son not a worse one.

• Vent your heart. Talk to fam­ily. Talk to friends. Talk to a counselor. And if pos­si­ble vent at the per­son who hurt you most. You have to get it out. If you don’t have the kind of re­la­tion­ship that you can do it in per­son – send an email or let­ter. Don’t fo­cus on the bad that hap­pened if you can. Just ex­plain why you are so hurt

• Spend time with the best peo­ple in your life. And lis­ten when they com­pli­ment you. Right now your self-es­teem is prob­a­bly not good. Keep your chin up. You are not alone in this jour­ney. There are lots of peo­ple out there who have un­der­gone this kind of jour­ney, but have had learned to move on and start a new chap­ter in their life. They take back their power. As Lau­ren Erick­son-Viereck once said, “May we all learn to love with­out con­tin­gency; in the mean­time, may we learn to our path in self-com­pas­sion. Lov­ing our­selves is our dawn into the light of truly lov­ing oth­ers.”

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from Philippines

© PressReader. All rights reserved.