Idio-meter

The Republicans are furious at Google because when the word “idiot” is typed in the search box of the website, it’s Trump that pops up.

Of course I had to try it, and guess what? It is the Donald himself that resulted from that particular search - on both days that I tried it! Especially in the ‘images’ portion, where various examples of the idiotic president are displayed.

I guess that situation wasn’t helped by Congresswoman Zoe Lofgren when she was trying to interrogate Google CEO Sundar Pichai during a Washington committee hearing. She was puzzled why her search for idiots resulted in Trump being identified, and wanted Pichai to justify that outcome. Perhaps many other students of algorithms would have jumped up and down to answer that delicious question. I would have just smiled.

But her question sparked many such similar searches from all over the globe, and accordingly, “idiot’ searches surged by a million and became the number one mostsearched item in American cyberspace. A vicious cycle, resulting in Trump being Google-validated as an idiot multiple times.

That begs the question, what happens when one types in the words “idiot” and “Cebu”? Thank God, it wasn’t me, but some driver road rage association. I guess the heavy traffic that we’ve seen in the city has sparked more name-calling than usual directed at lousy or selfish drivers.

Same results when one tries searching in Bacolod City. It’s all about driving or parking.

Let’s not discuss what happens when one Googlesearches for “idiot” and “Philippines”. I could get into serious trouble. However, my theory is that the images pop up so often because he (yes, it’s a he) likes peppering his vocabulary with that word so much. (Wipes sweat off brows).

But what a feat to have snagged that distinction worldwide! Was it because Trump insists on lying through his teeth when already, the general consensus is that the real state of affairs is completely the opposite of what he’s spewing? Or that he keeps on harping about building a $5 billion wall, when all he needs is a more robust border enforcement strategy?

Is it that he insists on holding a messy cockfight with opponents in front of media cameras, where he immediately gets slayed? Or he keeps on thinking about pursuing his business interests, when he really should be buckling down to govern his nation? He sometimes even skips work on some days, as if the task of governing the mightiest nation on the planet can be blown off just like that. (Anyone up for a two-week break in Florida?)

Or is it that he keeps fighting with his advisers, or not listening to them, so he ends up not having anyone sober around him? Even the crazies like Omarosa are deserting him.

Perhaps, it is his constant need to express himself by tweeting. Where he makes up entirely new words like “covfefe” and invents new persons like Scott Free. Which isn’t as bad as mangling syntax and grammar rules so badly that America is almost at a point where it can’t really claim pride as native English speakers (whatever Miss USA Universe says.)

But what would be truly deserving of the honor of being bestowed the title of idiot would be the death of a migrant child seven hours after being taken into custody by border officials. Not content with separating parents from their children, a new monstrosity has now crept into the efforts of America to defend its populace from the “frightening” horde of immigrants.

For these horrific acts, I am perfectly willing to liberally sprinkle the ozone layer with insults so profuse and profound that “idiot” might not even make the cut.

Perhaps, we should award the title to those who cling to him despite his failings and his policies, for without them, he would not be so empowered. That might mean we have to wait until the next presidential elections. If he gets re-elected, well, we all know that saying about being fooled twice.