Treasure Your Family
In my conversation with my brother in Canada the other day, my sister-in-law butted in that it was a good gesture that I didn’t pick up the issue on inheritance that would have aggravated between a relative and me. I told her that I just walked away before the matter would have magnified and feelings would be hurt.
I treasure my family. Between material things on earth and that of family relationship, I prefer to preserve harmonious relationships with my family.
There’s a story of a samurai master who was challenged to a duel by a neophyte warrior that had a blown-up ego. No matter how much the master was challenged, he kept his silence – until the young man left. Then the master was asked by his students who surrounded him, “Master, why didn’t you accept the challenge? We are sure you would defeat him.” The master smiled and said, “When someone gives you a present and you don’t accept it, the present is still with him. Since, I didn’t accept his anger, so his anger is still with him.”
Whatever conflict there might be in the family, or in any relationship for that matter, it’s better to walk away and settle the issue when heads are cooler.
The actress Jo Ann River advises: “When the kitchen is hot, get out of the kitchen. It’s better to walk away before things would escalate.”
For me, a family is a precious gift from the Lord and we should treasure it. It is in this small nucleus that we are given a place in this world. Our family is a home and our sanctuary, especially when there is too much noise outside.
The saying “You can’t choose your family” is true. No matter what, we still have to be thankful for having one. It’s painful to hear stories or see family members drifting apart due to some issues and have stopped talking to each other.
Life in this world is brief. It’s sad when differences are not settled and allowed to linger through our remaining time in this world. Now you are here, tomorrow you are gone. Tomorrow is not a promise and no one can tell what the future holds.
To carry anger or grudge is indeed heavy. It’s a pain in one’s soul and a demon that robs you of your peace of mind. It gives you sleepless nights wherein you keep on twisting in your bed at night.
Family conflicts are normal. It’s repairing it that matters. Diana Divecha suggests the following tips on how to do the repairs:
* Acknowledge the offense, First, try to understand the hurt that you have caused. It doesn’t matter if it was unintentional or what your reasons. This is the time to turn off your own defense system and focus on understanding and considering the other person’s pain or anger.
* Express remorse. Here a sincere “I’m sorry” is sufficient. Don’t add anything to it. There is no perfect formula for an apology except that it be delivered in a way that acknowledges the wound, and then make amends.
“You can’t choose your family” is true. No matter what, we still have to be thankful for having one. It’s painful to hear stories or see family members drifting apart due to some issues and have stopped talking to each other.