Stop Holding On to the Pain of the Past
Steve Maraboli of medium.com website states: “Renew, release, let go. Yesterday’s gone. There’s nothing you can do to bring it back. You can’t “should’ve done something. You can only do something. Release that attachment. Today is a new day!”
“Are you holding on to painful memories which you find difficult to let go?” asks Tony Fahkry, also of medium.com website: “Many people remain unconscious to these memories until they overwhelm them. Holding on to pain may be akin to clutching hot coal wishing that you don’t get burnt. Each time a painful memory is recalled, it is brought to life by inviting the past into the present.”
Fahkry continues: “Have you experienced a moment during the day, when for no apparent reason you are in a bad mood? Mood swings represent the unconscious self recalling past memories. For some people holding on to pain signifies a badge of honor – it identifies them as one who has been victimized. They wear their badges to mark their identity and as a means to justify their victimhood.
“In order to harness the richness of life, we must be willing to let go of our pain. You choose not to carry the burden of the pain, not to view the world through a distorted lens. In order to release the pain, make an inner declaration to choose peace, happiness and freedom. Once you abide by this affirmation, the healing process has already begun and your unconscious mind will naturally move toward the state of peacefulness through your thoughts.
“You owe it to yourself and your loved ones to release yourself from the mental prison that has held you captive all this time. I can assure you that life is far richer without the burden of pain memories.”
I am reminded of a relative whose hatred towards her late mother-in-law was so intense. She treated her like a servant, instead of as her daughter-inlaw. She was bossy, and verbally abusive to her. She had no respect on her as a person. My relative was helpless to defend herself because her family needs depended on her. The woman was her financial coffin. She felt she lost her self -esteem and self-worth. When the mother-in-law passed away, she still couldn’t forgive her. Her heart was burning with hatred and repugnance for the way she treated her. Many years had passed, until one day she was able to utter her mother-in-law’s name. She realized that she had forgiven her.
It is important to let go of the painful past that haunts you. John Grohol, Psy.D. of PsychCentral website gives the following tips:
* Make the decision to let it go. Things don’t disappear on their own. You need to make the commitment to “let it go.” If you don’t make this conscious choice up-front, you could end up selfsabotaging any effort to move on from this past hurt.
* Express your pain – and your responsibility. Express the pain the hurt made you feel, whether it’s directly to the other person, or writing it in a journal, or writing a letter you never send to the other person.
Express the pain the hurt made you feel, whether it’s directly to the other person, or writing it in a journal, or writing a letter you never send to the other person.