‘Love surrounds us’
One cool and dreamy afternoon, excitement hovered around Tarawoods, the farm owned by the Magsino family in Tanauan, Batangas. Family and friends gathered together as they were comfortably seated on outdoor chairs ^ @ _ ` Ben Magsino and his wife Mely, that day was extraordinarily special — it was the day they were married 60 years ago. And with God, family and friends as their witnesses that day, the couple planned to do it all over again.
The anticipated Mass and renewal of vows were celebrated by Monsignor Matt Garcia, a close family friend of the Magsinos, in a lovely white gazebo strewn with fresh yellow blooms. The priest was an engaging storyteller who kept us giggling intermittently through his homily.
“What you did 60 years ago has produced a wonderful family of 10,” started Fr. Matt. “You will never regret this day. The Church congratulates you because there are many expiration dates for marriages but you are proving that marriage is sacred. Marriage is a contract for life. Love is what binds you together. | [ [ Z @
“St. Paul is very clear on his definitions of love. He said, ‘Love is patient. Love is kind, always thinking of the beloved even though it hurts. Love understands. Love is humble.’ In all humility you often choose to fix up rather than put the another down. Always, you both come back to start anew. The most beautiful part according to St. Paul is, ‘Love forgives and love forgets.’ You learn to accept and grow so that you can overcome these mistakes. This is what genuine love is all about.
“Thank you for giving us all this excitement. Because of your love, we are all here to celebrate with you. Now, are there any objections before we continue?” The crowd giggled incessantly. After the beautiful Mass, the couple’s handsome son Benjie, a George Clooney look-alike, emceed the program.
In his speech, Tito Ben, a sought- after urologist, thanked all those who came. He regaled everyone with his and Tita Mely’s love story.
“I got married when I was 20 and my wife was 19. I was still in my second year in UST College of Medicine when I made this decision. When you are young, you think your decision is always right. Not until you have your own children and you are having a hell of a time trying to make ends meet.”
When he finished Medicine, they already had four children. He asked his father if he could stop pursuing a higher degree so he could find a job and support his family. But his father did not heed his plea. His father continued to support his family. Tito Ben was separated from Tita Mely and their children from 1958 to 1961 because he was pursuing his residency at the Jewish Hospital of Brooklyn in New York. The many sacrifices he went through made him a very good and strict doctor.
“Today, you may be wondering how come I lasted 60 years with the same wife, I got married four times to the same wife. There are only two things that I think are important in one’s married life. Number one is for you to remove the word ‘pride’ in the vocabulary of your married life. That word ‘pride’ is very wounding. I have seen a lot of marriages broken so early simply because of little misunderstandings and pride blown out of proportion that have led them to separate.
“The second thing that will give you the opportunity to last in marriage is when you learn how to say you’re sorry. These are words that are sometimes so hard to say to your wife but if you do not master the art of doing so, it will result in the break up of many. It is not enough to say you are sorry but to say sorry even if you think and know you are right,” he said.
A blooming Tita Mely gently spoke, “I think to make a marriage grow and stay alive, the wife has to do a lot of forgiving. Be patient. Practice extreme patience at all times. Though it is hard, this is possible because you love each other.
“We married young but I knew what I was getting into. I knew I would have to be a full-time mother (She took up Home Economics at UST). Because when we got married, " we had supportive parents. My father-in-law especially loved me so much. He used to pick me up in school every day that they thought he was my boyfriend. My father-in-law and mother-in-law were so very nice. I love them.”
Tita Mely, added that their marriage is not a bed of roses. There were ups and downs especially when their children were growing up. But they went with the flow equipped with a lot of prayers. “Because without God in your marriage it is so easy to give up when hard times come,” she said.
“To me, it is not all about money or being comfortable. The most important thing is to have all the love that surrounds you. To know your family is there behind you. That they love you for what you are. Not just for what you can give them.
“Being a mother of 10, I am often asked, ‘How do you apportion your love for all of them?’ If I give 100 percent, it’s still not enough. So I added more love,” she said.
She thanked her family and everyone who came. “Our day would not be complete without you here. You mean so much to us. You are very precious. It is so comforting to know that love surrounds us.”
And, indeed, love did surround this celebration. The gracious Magsino children showed their love by making this day extra memorable for their beloved parents who sacrificed so much for them. Youngest daughter, Toots created a museum of love showcasing her parents’ photos and their family tree with the help of sister Zontie.
` } @ } @ ` " _ shared their anecdotes of the lovable couple.
Congratulations Tito Ben and Tita Mely. Thank you for being our example of a long and lasting love.