After two suicide attempts, HAYDEN KHO fiNDS MEANING in newfound spirituality
O MATTER HAT A ASTE ONE HAS MADE OF ONE’S LIFE, IT IS EVER POSSIBLE TO fiND SOME PATH TO REDEMPTION
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Iam liYing with pain, shame and guilt, what meaning can I find in liIe a den .ho -r tearIull ut tered these words as the first person to as a uestion at an open Iorum held E tlanta Eased hristian philosopher r aYi acharias, who spo e on u manit s earch Ior eaning in -une last ear at a dinner in hangri a otel It was attended E Eusiness people and proIessionals including a aEinet secretar as well as seYeral t coons
r aYi acharias told SS during a lun cheon last onda hosted E a den in ic i elo s home I didn t now him Iter a den .ho as ed that uestion, I loo ed at this prett good loo ing gu and said to him ou loo li e a gu made Ior the moYies, then ou re loo ing Ior meaning, that which eYen wealth, Iame and success cannot Ering :e met later that night, we pra ed together a den had tears running down his Iace he had a Ero en heart, and
many, many regrets.”
Dr. Ravi recounted: “I invited Hayden to travel with my team in my speaking engagements from -uly 2013 to February this year — Singapore, Malaysia, Indonesia, India, Arizona, Los Angeles. He’d cry through many of the meetings, expressing his troubles and his sense of disappointment in himself. God is the only one big enough to change a person’s heart… Hayden has become like a son in Christ.”
Dr. Ravi continued: “Wild oats were sown, there are shattered, broken lives, but God is now changing Hayden’s heart. God took this man’s life, battles will always rage, but let us pray and support him so that God will let him keep moving in that direction. We celebrate a birthday, but it is more than physical, we’re celebrating Hayden’s spiritual birthday. This is a biography which is only halfway. We’ll do our part in praying for him.”
‘I am living with pain, shame and guilt. What
meaning can I find in life?’ Hayden Kho Jr. tearfully uttered these words to Christian
philosopher Dr. Ravi Zacharias.
Kho tearfully marked his May 20 birthday celebration at the ballroom of Marco Polo Hotel in 2rtigas Center, Pasig City with cocktails for 400 guests comprised mostly of entertainment and media celebrities, business people and many officials and members of his church, the Christ’s Commission Fellowship (CCF). Hayden Kho’s special guests Ravi acharias and Hollywood actor Stephen Baldwin delivered their Christian testimonies. Hayden later gave his own speech.
Coming from a controversial family of actor brothers, Baldwin is now a Christian evangelist. He said: “It’s just fascinating to me that something’s happening in Hayden’s heart… He wants to share that which is in his heart, that greatest gift he has received.”
Hayden Kho -r. — the controversial doctor, corporate marketing executive, perfume entrepreneur, part-time actor, model and main protagonist in the 2009 sex video scandal — talks about his journey towards spirituality.
, , , aSSy elrthGay. ow olG are you
Y . 2 - . : Today is the sixth anniversary of my 28th birthday ( chuckles). It’s just a joke, because I feel that I’m forever 28 years old. I’m now 34.
:hy haYe you ParneG your elrthGay tonlJht wlth such a unltue eYent oI hrls tlan sSeeches anG Puslc nuPeers
I came from the entertainment world, it’s a really, really dark world, people fall. I want to light some lamps. There are skeptics. Recently I was debating with seven of my friends, then I felt frustrated, so I emailed Dr. Ravi. The next day he called up and said, “I’ll go to the Philippines and talk to your seven friends.” My original plan was to have a private dinner with friends, by invitation only.
aYl a harlas tolG Pe aeout your first encounter last year. You were then lost anG unhaSSy lonJ aIter the se YlGeo scanGal
Yes, when I first met Dr. Ravi, I had just come from seven years of struggling with drugs. I was sober for about two months, but I was also taking drugs again and going down that path. I was then invited by (ver Bilena’s Dioceldo Sy to listen to this Indian evangelist that night in -une at (DSA Shangri-La.
I knew him, I had read his book Has Christianity Failed You So I got there. Dr. Ravi didn’t know he was going to be making a speech, then there was a question-andanswer forum. I asked the first question that turned into a confession. After that I followed him in his speaking engagements in different countries for months. You were lnto GruJs Ior seYen years It was seven years, I was on and off drugs. It was a painful struggle. Ultimately it wasn’t a struggle against drugs, but a struggle for meaning and purpose which I believe everyone is struggling with too but we’re just not vocal about.
You ust tult whateYer you were GolnJ anG Iol loweG hlP
I was doing a movie then, I left that. I also left 2 Skin Health Philippines. Yes, I started following Dr. Ravi. We went to Singapore, then I followed him to Indonesia, then we went to India and other places. I listened. We talked. I have so many questions. We talked during breakfast and also during dinners.
as your newIounG sSlrltuallty now totally chanJeG the ayGen .ho that the worlG nnew eeIore
I know I am not yet the man I want to be, but I am thankful I am no longer the man I used to be.
You reclteG :llllaP hanesSeare s onnet to nlJht. You PePorl eG lt lonJ aJo
Is William Shakespeare a Christian poet? Yes, I memorized his “Sonnet 29” when I was young and it expresses so well my feelings: “When, in disgrace with fortune and men’s eyes, I all alone beweep my outcast state, And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries, And look upon myself, and curse my fate, Wishing me like to one more rich in hope, Featur’d like him, like him with friends possess’d, Desiring this man’s art and that man’s scope, With what I most enjoy contented least; Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising, Haply I think on thee, and then my state, Like to the lark at break of day arising From sullen earth, sings hymns at heaven’s gate; For thy sweet love remember’d such wealth brings That then I scorn to change my state with kings.” :hat was the Post SalnIul Sart oI your Sast crlses Being abandoned by my friends, that was the worst. Rev. Martin Luther King -r. said what I felt at that time: “In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.” That was the most hurtful for me… That led me to suicide. :hen was thls sulclGe attePSt I tried to kill myself twice, in 2008, and in 2009.
You re now totally tulttlnJ showel anG worn ln the corSorate worlG
I’m on a sabbatical for a year, this whole 2014. I am rebuilding my foundations, and building it... this time I hope to build it right. :hat are your Slans now I don’t know what God’s plan for me is, but my prayer is that He prepares me for what He has prepared for me.
, hearG you re leaYlnJ to stuGy ln nJ lanG
After a series of events from May 28, I will leave on -une 7 for 2xford where I will be studying Christian apologetics. I will study for five or six weeks. It’s a special school on Christian apologetics for busy people.
Iter your stuGles SerhaSs you shall GeclGe your Iuture Slans then
No, it’s not me, it will be God who will decide what He wants to do.
ow are your Sarents reactlnJ to these chanJes ln your llIe now
Have you already replaced Vicki in your heart or are you dating
another person? No replacements, no.
I really like Vicki.
My mom is afraid, she’s very Catholic. She probably doesn’t understand. My father, I’m not sure what he feels about it.
You anG r. 9lcnl elo ust went on a hrlstlan tour oI ,srael has she also ee coPe Pore rellJlous llne you
I think the Lord has also worked for Vicki, but we have different paths and we’re running at different paces.
,I eoth you anG 9lcnl haYe eecoPe hrlstlans lsn t lt loJlcal Ior eoth oI you to ne t conslGer a hrlstlan weGGlnJ Ior a Iuture norPal IaPlly llIe
Well, let’s see. I don’t know if that’s the path for us. We’re no longer romantically together, so I’m not thinking of that.
9lcnl recently tolG Pe that she thlnns she cannot JlYe you what you re loonlnJ Ior ln a Iuture wlIe. o you see a Sosslele Iuture weGGlnJ ln church These are really hard questions. aYe you alreaGy reSlaceG 9lcnl ln your heart or are you GatlnJ another Serson No replacements, no. I really like Vicki. Your coPlnJ out ln Suellc now wlth your hrlstlan Ialth lt s llne you re ee coPlnJ a celeerlty enGorser oI thls new way oI llIe
My testimony can be an endorsement of what -esus Christ can do in a life like mine.
:hat are your hoSes now :hat Go you Sray to oG aeout
In my prayers to God every day, I don’t ask for anything material anymore. I pray to the Lord: “Let me see your face. Let me hear your voice every day, you know what is good for me.”
re you haSSy now
Happy is an understatement. Happiness is based on happenings, what I have now is joy. Thanks for your feedback mail willsoon flourish@gmail.com or follow WilsonLeeFlores on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook and http:// willsoonflourish.blogspot.com/