In an ideal world

In an ideal world, National Artists chosen by the NCCA-NCAA-UAAP-CCPNPA-conglomerate will be accepted without question, declared as such to much merriment and festivity, and go on with their creative and procreative lives.

In an world, even China will learn to behave. Its future leaders will shed all traces of that M superstar, spoiled-brat syndrome and rectify the error of current ways. hey will resolve instead that for the fabled Middle .ingdom with a glorious history of sages and wisdom to claim true bragging rights for the century, China must temper its rise to economic power with humility and generosity.

6trutting with arrogance and elbowing every neighbor that eschews kowtowing only raises Tuestions about its civility. umbling and bungling like a bull in the delicate china shop of sia only earns it the brutish bully tag.

lready, that nine-dash map of manufactured sovereignty over an entire sea parts of which also wash ashore on other countries has alienated everyone, even the ghosts of Confucius and /i Po. lready, the high-handed treatment of relatively more democratic ong .ong has further exposed its leaders’ failure to recogni e the PC and entitlement flavors of the times.

In an ideal world, Russia’s leaders will finally accept the fact that their proud dream of being a political, military and economic power has long faded, not Must because the 866R broke up, but that totalitarian states have long been out of step with planetary evolution. nd that it’s best for them to march abreast with (urope, its neighbors, and the rest of the world, while also conceding that as long as merica continues to produce its movies and its music, its 6teve -obses and ill ateses, there can be no serious threat to its cultural and technological influence.

ell, of course everyone else can always pretend, like the )rench, that theirs is a viable alternative. 2r, like the ermans, simply focus on efficiency and the generation of solar power. etter yet, like both, everyone else can simply produce good wines and beers and football teams.

In an ideal world, the 86 can say May the spirit of the )ourth of -uly be with you and really mean it, without the usual double-talk engendered by neocon transformers and sub-planets with sub-species like Republican apes. nd there oughta be an end to /inday /ohan types. ell, maybe, Must maybe, except for the nip-slips.

In an ideal world, Islamic fundamentalism may be the last to go among the barriers to peace love flowers happiness. ut maybe, Must maybe, when it does, a religion can still stand on its own without fuel from any blood of any martyrs or victims. nd that typo about what to expect in paradise will finally be clarified, that it really reads as -year-old virgins.

hen the entire Middle ( ast will be the new oodstock 1ation, where women can drive vehicles or to the green and the basketball goal in shorts and muscle tees.

In an ideal world, why, Israel and Palestine will co-host the 0 orld Cup, where the kals will represent sia together with 6outh .orea, which had long taken over provision of Internet service from parri to -olo at a minimum of Mbps.

In an ideal word, 1orth .orea will host a version of isneyland, so that its take on fun and humor will veer away from the surreal. nd oh yes, stand-up comics will indulge in battle rap as tag teams of Paks and .ims.

In an ideal world, women will not only gain eTuality but precedence, priority and primordiality in everything, except maybe, Must maybe, chess and cuisine. ut they will rule across the board, from safeguarding national coffers to disbursing the same, collecting taxes from official keepers of the faith, meting out Mustice with mothers’ tears, and settling issues with other countries over omelets and meringue pies that have been cooked and baked, respectively, by men chefs, eow .

In an ideal world, all religious leaders will congregate on 2ct. each year at 6trawberry )ields in 1 C’s Central Park, and offer flowers around a marker on the ground that reads IM I1(. hey may pray, chant, meditate, assume asanas, beat on drums while clad in saffron robes, or bow with their butts pointing towards one direction, but will not sing that boy band’s tunes.

In an ideal world, )acebook admin dudes would already have transferred notification pop-up messages from the left to the right side of our respective walls, so they don’t cover the space where we’re trying to write a new comment.

In an ideal world, Philippine license plates will be awarded a buyer of any new vehicle a day after the check clears in the dealer’s account. nd olland, with the magnanimity of a winner in the orld Cup of 01 , or 01 , or 0 , will generously install and maintain an efficacious waterpumping system that will forever banish flooding in Metro Manila.

ait, there’s more. nd our new podner -apan will build and maintain a subway system all the way from atanes to awi- awi, with stops in Pagudpod, Coron, oracay, antayan, and wherever else in our bless ed isles.

In an ideal world, global warming will be harnessed as an energy source, dengue and the ebola virus will both be a thing of the past, and cancer and kidney failure and heart attacks and strokes will also be but a memory, thanks to a Muice combo of coco water, D SD D D and D D .

In an ideal world, enguet pines will replace all structures set up by informal settlers in aguio, and even legal property owners would be mandated to care for at least one tree of the same species plus some succulents for every 00 sTuare meters.

In an ideal world, 1 superstars will be obligated to stay with a team, for better or worse, in sickness and in health, for no less than 10 years, thence five and so forth till retirement, and their off-season fishing activities thence back-to-the-gym programs be covered live for the benefit of groupie addicts.

In an ideal world, ranters, haters, trolls, cyber and physical bullies will be reprogrammed as gentler, kinder, and ticket-less traffic enforcers.

In an ideal world, 1ational rtists chosen by the 1CC -1C -8 P-CCP-1P -CPP-P conglomerate will be accepted without Tuestion, declared as such to much merriment and festivity, and go on with their creative and procreative lives, except when one of them proposes that no other 1ational rtist should be declared for the particular genre that she or he represents until her or his demise, in which case off to the funny farm with that proponent.

In an ideal world, all nations will be run like corporations, starting with ours, so that Consitutions will be replaced with vision-mission statements, even if these come with Must as much blah. nd only the Manitors will attempt to interpret them, whether they’re of good or bad faith.

In an ideal world, we’ll all love one another, S D