You’re good alone but better when connected
O W J W W W OO N W O O W J NL J W O E JL W W W W W Harriet oldhor
erner
1ot a day passe s without you making an attempt — sincere or otherwise — to communicate your thoughts, feelings and ideas to others. ou speak on the phone, send te t messages, push emails, forward private messages on )acebook, fire tweets and make written or oral presentations.
But does your communication fully connect you with your targeted publics Do you really get through (ven when you do, does the right message get through, or some distorted version of your intended message
Communication alone means nothing unless it forges a connection. :hether as a president of the country e plaining a policy decision or a position on an issue like why a superstar was stricken from the 1ational rtist list or why .- needs a review because , college professors could possibly lose their Mobs , a parent seeking to connect to a child who is now lost to the world of gadgetry, an advertiser to a targeted segment that has become more elusive, a P5 counselor to difficult stakeholders, a coach to his basketball players whose sense of team play has vanished, your efforts achieve little if you fail to tell your story and connect to your audience. :ithout connection, you cannot make things go right.
In all the communications you do, you may be listening to another person’s words but feel that your body language tells a different story. In such situations, your challenge is to make sure that your actions do not belie your words. There also comes a point that you believe so much in the soundness of a suggestion you wish to offer in a meeting, a forum, or brainstorming session but feel too shy to make it, lest you commit a mistake or generate opposition from the other members of the group. 2n the other end of the spectrum, you routinely seek out the opinions of others but don’t respond or listen obMectively.
:hether at work or at home, you often make the mistake of believing that simply because you have made a statement, or you have printed or broadcast your ideas and views to the world, you have communicated. candidate for political office can talk all he can, but it is no guarantee that he is getting the empathy, much less the votes, of the electorate. mother can recall lessons from her past, but that does not necessarily mean that her kids learn from them. n opinion columnist can craft his thoughts, e press his views or scribble all the words he can muster, but they may come to naught if the connection is not right.
In reality, you may have lost your voice barking and your ink writing, but you may still find yourself fulfilling only the smallest, simplest step in the process of fully connecting with your audience. The question then is, how do you connect with your audience when they seem to have lost interest, or worse, have no interest at all in what you are trying to communicate (mmet Murphy, in his book S shares some important lessons on commonness and connectedness
A firm commitment gives you a far greater chance of reaching and connecting with people. Commit to a cause. dopt an advocacy program. ou must wholeheartedly believe in the message you hope to convey to family, friends and officemates. Clearly define your storytelling goals. They will set the direction and help you achieve the bottom-line effect of the process. Make your words, both spoken and written, spring from an honest desire to improve relationships and benefit the recipients of your messages as much, if not more, than they do yourself.
A deeper level of messaging makes you an influential communicator. /ook at communication differently, rising above traditional messages sent and messages received. It’s going beyond upward and downward information, steering your way from the usual printed and electronic dissemination to other newfangled distribution channels. If you are able to achieve this, audience buy-ins are clinched and mutually beneficial values and interests are shared. This is reminiscent of *andhi’s behavior and self-effacing character creeping into the consciousness of his constituents as he moves them to action with his empathetic, charismatic persona, or :inston Churchill as he cloaks the British people with the energy of hope as he brings his entire country into one solid connectedness.
Face- to- face, business or even political communication must influence and lead. our ideas must be presented in a comprehensible, to-the-point, and targeted approach where conflict is dealt with cautiously, and where circumstances and directions are confronted from a position of strength. s such, you as a communicator must be able to bring yourself to a high level of self-assurance and fluency.
Your words should match your actions. Inculcate values that can drive actions. ppreciate the need for communications that talk the talk, backed up by walking the walk. Don’t commit the mistake of e pecting those with whom you hope to connect to do as you say, not as you do.
Holding your peace can be counter-productive. It’s dangerous to e pect or assume that someone else — perhaps someone with authority or eloquence — can communicate on your behalf. Speak out and speak true or forever hold your peace. Don’t let your feelings of intimidation, shyness or lack of courage prevent you from saying what you mean, and meaning what you say. ow many times have you missed the opportunity to connect and be respected because you passed up the chance to speak your mind
Your audience is made up of thinking and feeling people. They, too, want to talk. (ncourage them. Then listen. ou like to talk, too. 5esist the urge for most of the communication process. se your ears more than your tongue. 1o doubt it’s hard to be a good listener. In fact, as the OO W W - O reported, 2verwhelmed by the incessant, intrusive babble of the modern world, the skill of listening has fallen on hard times. It has been estimated that most people speak at a rate of to words a minute. That sounds fast, but the human brain can process more than words a minute. Because of this gap, many people engage in mental fidgeting, letting their mind drift off the subMect, making them poor listeners.
The biggest communication problem you don’t listen to understand. You listen to reply. good listening ear coupled with a good heart and mind to fight off resistance will surely make your communication strong, responsive and positively influential. nd when you feel the impulse to think about what to say ne t while other people are talking, or the urge to grow impatient when the people you are conversing with start to ramble or repeat themselves, Must be reminded of (pictetus’ declaration 1ature has given men one tongue but two ears, that we may hear from others twice as much as we speak.
A custom-fitted message connects better. Take the time to get to know the feelings, hopes or fears of those with whom you wish to communicate before you start writing or talking. Try very hard to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. This will allow you to gain intimate knowledge about your audience, and choose your words more carefully to forge a firm connection and establish commonness
The biggest communication problem is you don’t listen to understand.
You listen to reply.
every time you communicate. Take the /ego analogy of connectedness as Twitter.com icrossing describes it, The little red brick is a universally known symbol for connectedness. :hile recogni able alone, its real value is in its ability to be assembled and connected with other pieces in endless variations to construct wildly imaginative things — like buildings, machines, art pieces, and ever eerily walking robots. nything constructed can then be taken apart and the bricks used to make other obMects. /ego pieces of all varieties are part of a universal system. *ood alone. Better when connected.
:hat these lessons are telling you is that you must move beyond the position of a communicator who sends out messages hoping that your audiences will receive them, to a connector who builds relationships with others that help make things go right. To do so, you must fully communicate your entire message rather than Must speaking or writing the words. There is no question that words are an important part of the communication process. They clarify and define human intentions and thoughts. But words become stronger with the infusion of the e tra verbal or written aspects that can provide emphasis, deeper meaning and believability to the message itself. This calls for continued and consistent connection and reconnection of your authentic and sincere thoughts and actions.
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