‘I am handsome, rich, and looking for a wife’

DEAR EPPY, I want to get married this year, but I don’t have a girlfriend right now. I was jilted by four girls from October 2014 to April 2015. Everybody says I am very handsome, but I am shy of three years from being a senior citizen. A lot of women indirectly tell me that we can be an item, but I don’t like them because they have kids already and they are mature already. I don’t want to marry a woman who has given birth already because sex with them is a bad experience. Also, I don’t want to raise another man’s child/children. I am a prize catch for two reasons: 1) I don’t have a single vice and my family is very well-off. My siblings are of means and they are all single.

Please advise me (my future family will inherit all of my family’s properties like a total of five houses in the country and two in the USA). EAGER TO MARRY

DEAR EAGER TO MARRY, First of all, I think you have a very poor self-image of yourself. You may think you are good-looking, but internally, you don’t have a high regard of yourself. Secondly, because you have a poor perception of yourself, you also have a distorted view of a woman and everyone else. If you think a woman will love you because your parents are rich, have houses both here and abroad, and own a treasure, then I think you are looking for a prostitute. A prostitute has no interest to relate with anyone. Prostitutes use their body to attract men so the men can give them their money.

After marrying a prostitute, you end up with less money or no money at all because she has taken it away. I had a reader who thinks like you. He says he loves a woman whom he thinks loves him, too.

Just like you, his perception of himself was poor. He used his wealth to entice a woman to love him. Of course, he chose a woman who would want to throw herself at him because of what his parents owned. This was a woman who needed money. She saw his house, his capacity to give money, and so on. The relationship lingered for awhile. But when the man started to control the passing on of the money to her, she left him.

Normal people will like you because of how you relate to them, not because your family has certain possessions. If you are sensitive to their feelings, treat them kindly, yet are able to let them know your needs without hurting them, for sure you will be able to find someone who will love you because you are Mr. Eager to Marry, not because you are Mr. My Parents Have Money.

I don’t think you are ready to marry anyone. You have to know more about yourself. Be proud of who you are and what you are capable of doing. You can’t go around being proud of what your parents have. Only a child thinks that way. A child does not have a sense of who he is because he has not acquired abilities through learning yet. He does not have a sense of self so he borrows his identity or his sense of self from his parents.

At your age, you should not be borrowing your sense of who you are from your parents and your siblings. Imagine what can happen when you fight with your partner? Because you do not have a sense of self, you will be very sensitive to everything your partner says. Your feelings are like that of a child. Children’s tempers are uncontrollable. The only reason they can’t hurt adults is because they are tiny. But you are not tiny.

Go see a psychotherapist because I think you need help badly. After your sessions, chances are you will know why people get married and you will experience what most people feel when they meet someone they would like to spend the rest of their lives with. EPPY