Don’t say these things
For thirty years, Johnson had arrived at work at 9 a.m. on the dot. He had never missed a day and was never late.
On one particular day, 9 a.m. passed without Johnson’s arrival, it caused a sensation. All work ceased and the boss himself, looking at his watch and muttering, came out into the corridor.
Finally, precisely at 10 a.m., Johnson showed up, clothes dusty and torn, his face scratched and bruised, his glasses bent. He limped painfully to the time clock, punched in, and aware that all eyes were upon him said, “I tripped and rolled down two flights of stairs in the subway. I nearly killed myself.”
His boss replied skeptically, “And to roll down two flights of stairs took you a whole hour?”
Some bosses are just so insensitive they actually drive good people away. In my Level Up Leadership Seminars, I have always maintained the top two reasons why good people leave: 1. Not getting along with their bosses. 2. The feeling that they are not appreciated. Some bosses mean well. They want to get things done. They are impatient and they may be legitimately concerned that their direct reports are not performing their best. But there are ways to deliver the message and to encourage people to do better.
And then there are insensitive remarks bosses should not say because these remarks will surely drive good people away. Here is a list of things good leaders should never say:
1.”That’s a no-brainer.” Be fair. Everyone has a brain including the people you do not like. What if you say, “Oh I was also thinking about that too…”
2. “You need to work smarter, not harder.” This is so much of a worn out cliché that is so hollow, shallow and lacking in genuine guidance. Think of a more respectful way to say that one needs to think carefully and approach the work in a more creative manner.
3. “Just make it happen.” This remark conveys both condescension and laziness. Ask your direct report how you may be of help and provide guidance on how to get the job done.
4. “Well, duh.” In the vernacular, it goes “Ano bayan?” This expression is demeaning, insulting and the resulting reflection is upon the leader who looks more like an immature college student trying to wrestle for adulthood and needless to say sounds unprofessional.
5. “I don’t want to hear any excuses.” This remark backs the person into a corner and it conveys the readiness to accuse and blame when things do not go as expected.
6. “You’re lucky I don’t fire you.” This phrase that has been used has produced reactions like, “Sir, or Maam, you don’t have to because I quit!” Threats never cause people to do better that are sustainable. Rather than losing your cool, review the process and discuss ways on how to improve and rectify errors.
7. “I’ve got my eye on you.” You’re like Robert de Niro in the movie “Meet the Parents.” You’re not a secret agent so leave the threat out of the conversation. You may be watching too many spy movies.
You may find the phrases funny but I kid you not, there are still many bosses who use these sophomoric phrases to their people in the workplace. And then they wonder why their people are not motivated to do their best.
Let me add one more thing. Remember this thought: “No one likes to be an assumption.” Saying, “But I assumed you know how much I appreciate what you do…” is not going to inspire anyone to become better.
Formal education can develop a person to be a brilliant manager. But there are so many brilliant managers out there who still jerk their people around, drive good people away, cause high attrition and prevent people from doing their best.
Leadership is very much a matter of the heart. It’s both an art and a science that need to be developed and educated. And as you inspire people, you grow them and when they grow, they grow the business even more.
(Bring your leaders to the brand new Shangri-La Hotel at the Fort and experience two inspiring days of leadership training with Francis Kong in his highly acclaimed and updated Level Up Leadership this May 25-26. For further inquiries contact April at +639285591798 or Success Options at 7270291 / 7275692 or register online at www.levelupleadership.ph)