Grumpy old man
The late US syndicated columnist Sydney J. Harris accompanied his friend George to his favorite newsstand. George greeted the man selling the newspapers courteously, but in return he received gruff service. He barely acknowledged his customer and never even looked up at him when he requested the late night edition. Accepting the newspaper, which was shoved rudely in his direction, George politely smiled and wished the newsman a pleasant weekend. The proprietor grunted an indiscernible sound and seemed relieved the two men had completed their transaction.
As the two friends walked down the street the columnist asked, “Does he always treat you so rudely?” “Yes, unfortunately, he does,” George responded. “And are you always so kind and friendly to him?” “Yes, I am!” George continued as they turned a corner. “Why are you so nice when he is so unfriendly to you?” With a look of deep contemplation, George explained, “Because I don’t want him to decide how I am going to act.”
There are so many grumpy people around. They may be your bosses, your friends, your business partners or even your parents and in-laws.
I have had people sending me PM’s (private message) through my Facebook pages asking for advice. Most of them are angry and frustrated, but the more serious among them concern people who are planning to leave their parents or in-laws, or people resigning from their jobs or quitting their business partnerships simply because: “They always see the wrong things I do and never appreciate the good things I have done…”
My response has always been consistent. Why should anyone make a major life decision based on what other people say? They may say anything they want but what they say does not define who we are.
People laughed at me at the start of my speaking career, saying I am a lunatic because there is no money in speaking. I spoke anyway. People scoffed at my faith, accusing me of being ignorant and archaic, but to stand on my belief, I did. Some people have even fabricated stories and put me on tabloid, maligned my family and badmouthed me, but all those are just their opinions and their words and opinions do not define me.
To do the right thing, I must say the right things because my convictions and behavior are the things that define me as a person. Not these grumpy people and their nasty words.
Who decides how you are going to act? Is it your circumstances or the difficult people in your life that determine your responses? The moment we start allowing our conflicts to control us, then we will make wrong decisions or worst, we may compromise our ethical values and behave the way people want us to.
Some people say, “But this person stresses me so much I just want to hit them back and let them know I am angry because of their actions…” Well, the truth becomes selfevident. Others are controlling you. Our trials will eventually subside. But the decisions we make as our responses to these challenges will influence our lives for a long time.
So the next time somebody really gets on your nerves, grumpy and say nothing but negative things against you either frontally or behind your back, just look at how beautiful this world is and that there are much more people who are nice, beautiful and kind.
Smile, get on with the right thing you need to do. Be gentle and be respectful. And here is the punch line. Be kind to these people because in doing so you become peaceful and relaxed and you drive the person crazier that way.