The new alphabet
Two young girls were closely examining bathroom scales on display at a department store.
“Have you ever seen one of these before?” one asked.
“Yeah, my mom and dad have one.” the other replied.
“What are these for?” asked the first girl.
“I don’t know,” the second girl answered. “I think you stand on it and it either makes you mad or cry. That’s what it does to my dad and mom.” What about you? Does your weighing scale make you cry? It was a long time ago when a friend sent me this funny material and I want to share this with you. It is called the new alphabet. Read this. A is for apple, and B is for boat; that used to be right, but now it won’t float!
Age before beauty is what we once said, but let’s be a bit more realistic instead.
Now here is the new alphabet especially for those who do not care to exercise. A’s for arthritis; B’s the bad back. C’s the chest pains, perhaps car-di-ac? D is for dental decay and decline; E is for eyesight, can’t read that top line!
F is for fissures and fluid retention; G is for gas which I’d rather not mention.
H is high blood pressure- I’d rather it low; I is for incisions with scars you can show.
J is for joints, out of socket, that won’t mend; K is for knees that crack when they bend.
L is for libido, what happened to sex? M is for memory, I forget what comes next.
N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low; O is for osteo, the bones that don’t grow!
P is for prescriptions, I have quite a few; just give me a pill and I’ll be good as new!
Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu? R is for reflux, one meal turns to two.
S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears; T is for tinnitus; there’s bells in my ears!
U is for urinary; big troubles with flow; V is for vertigo, that’s “dizzy,” you know.
W is for worry, NOW what’s going ‘round? X is for X ray, and what might be found.
Y is another year I’m left here behind; Z is for zest that I still have-- in my mind! I’ve survived all the symptoms, my body is deployed. And I am keeping 26 doctors fully employed!!! So here is the lesson: One very sick but very rich man says, “I can assure you that there is nothing special with a golden hospital bedpan.” Take care of yourself. Get those gym shoes, wear those gym tracks and start stretching those muscles.
One wise guy says he stays in the office all day and the exercises he has are the following: 01) Beating around the bush 02) Jumping to conclusions 03) Climbing the walls 04) Swallowing my pride 05) Passing the buck 06) Throwing my weight around 07) Dragging my heels 08) Pushing my luck 09) Making mountains out of molehills 10) Hitting the nail on the head 11) Wading through paperwork 12) Bending over backwards 13) Jumping on the bandwagon 14) Balancing the books 15) Running around in circles 16) Eating crow 17) Tooting my own horn 18) Climbing the ladder of success 19) Pulling out all the stops 20) Adding fuel to the fire 21) Opening a can of worms 22) Putting my foot in my mouth 23) Starting the ball rolling 24) Going over the edge 25) Picking up the pieces And then he says, “Whew! What a workout! I think I’ll exercise my caution now, and sit down”.
Take care of your health. Eating right, getting enough sleep, exercising and taking vitamins are good for you. It would not make much sense if you were to make so much money and then, your health fails you in such a way that you cannot enjoy the fruit of your labor. Meanwhile, your money depletes and your cardiologist buys a brand new Mercedes Benz. Does not make sense, does it?
Our body is the temple of God so take good care of it.