Ever thought of ordering motel food?
Sleazy, dingy, and sketchy — motels have earned quite a reputation for being destinations for couples who just want to do it. But one thing that greets you once you get in your room is a menu for room service. Is motel food actually worth ordering?
he street names have become legend. Whispered quickly, furtively to cab drivers back in the days before Grab or Uber: Canley. Escarpment. Hillcrest. The long and winding backroads of Pasig, all leading to Metro Manila’s most famous Motel Row. Back in the day, it was kind of a game, when driving by the area, to spot taxis whose passengers seemed engrossed in their newspapers. Anonymity by broadsheet, essential disguises when the vehicle’s windows had little or no tint. I’m certainly guilty of being both the spotter and the “spotee,” as I used to frequent those destinations for siestas and showers, at all times of the day or night. I had my share of adventures and misadventures; one in particular, stands out. I had the brilliant idea of taking my girlfriend at the time to a motel on the 15th of February, figuring, erroneously as it turned out, that the rush would be over. No sir. No ma’am. The occupancy rate on the day after Valentine’s was even heavier. It was mentioned to me later that it was the day reserved, in our country’s “macho culture”, for the #2s. Or even #3s, if one was so inclined. So, for an hour or so, my lady companion and I were forced to sit in a tiny café by the reception desk that served as the “waiting area”. We were with three other antsy couples who also spent the time hiding their faces behind the menus. Perhaps deciding on what to order: the crispy pata or the pancit?
Food, oddly enough, has always been one of the attractions, and for some, even the main reason for patronizing a motel. So much so that many of them have billboards advertising their specialties. And not just for room service. There actually is a very brisk takehome business from residents in the surrounding villages for the pancit bihon dish known affectionately as “Pancit MotMot.” Ditto for its partner, crispy pata. This is especially true for Victoria Court, the original and still the first class choice, not just in the Pasig area, but all over the city. The motels are now known as a hotel chain, having reinvented itself as a venue for bridal showers, bachelor parties, and birthday parties.
It is now very famous for the “themed rooms” that evoke the movies, inspired by everything from Star Wars to Marvel superheroes, and the appropriately kinky Fifty Shades of Grey suites. Role playing is elevated to a whole new level of sexiness in
Victoria Court’s cinematic surroundings. There’s a life-size, exquisitely detailed Millennium Falconlike cockpit that actually rolls and rotates exactly like Han Solo’s ship when it’s battling Imperial TIE-fighters. In the elegant golden Thor throne room, aspiring gods can use a heavy Asgardian hammer to pound a secret switch that plunges the suite into darkness, and simultaneously starts a light and sound show of deafening thunder and crashing lightning. The choices are limited only by one’s imagination: there’s a Batcave for the fans of the Dark Knight, and from the spy genre, James Bond or Austin Powers rooms. There’s even an Oval Office, where one can power trip like Trump or smooth talk like Obama. There are lush, sophisticated suites reminiscent of Santorini and Venice. It’s a whole lot of fun, enough to bring on a serious case of the munchies.
Victoria Court knows that their guests love all the amenities: the inevitable karaoke, the mini bar, cable TV and the all-important Wi-Fi. But over and above all these, it’s the food that’s now become part of the essential VC experience. Almost forty percent of the couples who check-in avail of room service. Which begs the question: when do they eat and drink? Before or after the deed? The surprising answer reinforces the fact that the typical threehour motel stays are still considered as dates by the ever romantic Filipino lovers: food comes first.
The orders come in during the first hour of the stay. The usual is a pancit or crispy pata combo, or both, with a bucket of beer. The other bestselling menu items are sisig and during the cooler ‘Ber months, bulalo, of course. There are distinct behaviors in the different branches. The patrons in VC Malabon and Caloocan so love their Pale Pilsen that the hotel managers now offer it in “Grande” bottles bundled as part of the room packages. The guests in Malate and Pasig prioritize the cuisine, and they’re always asking for new menu specials. Victoria Court keeps up with the culinary trends: their new carbonara spaghetti update has a salted egg sauce, and it’s aptly named the “Pasta Eggsplosion”.
Chef Katherine Enriquez, the hotel’s F&B Manager, works with an ever growing team of kitchen professionals. At any given time, since the complete menu has to be available 24/7,
are eight cooks on duty. And that’s just in the Canley branch. The total number of Victoria Court’s culinarians easily equal the manpower complement of some of the city’s larger restaurant chains. And it is not surprising that Victoria Court’s business expansion model is based on one of their strong core competencies. Raw Ritual, a healthy dining restaurant that offers all-natural smoothies and fresh juices, salads, and nutritious organic wraps, is at the Marquee Mall in Angeles City. Not too far off is the group’s breakfast & brunch restaurant, Sunrise Surprise along the Friendship Highway, right outside Clark. In Taguig, Wok2Go, a Chinese take-out themed establishment, opened just this past week at the Venice Grand Canal on McKinley Hill.
Clearly, this love business is now equal parts food business. But I had to ask Chef Kat one final question: why, of all possible choices, this obsession, this predisposition to crispy Pata? Why is it the ultimate sexytime snack? “It’s simple,” she says, “Filipino men love to show off – the yabang factor – and to show their significant others how much they love them, they’re willing to order the most expensive item on the menu, to prove how much they do so.”
Their crispy pata is indeed, consistently excellent. I should know. After all, I’ve ordered that every single time I’ve been to Victoria Court.