START WITH QUICK WINS

Long-time readers of this column will notice that I have shifted back to articles. But don’t worry. I still respond to emails asking for career advice. Take this one, for example, which I got over the New Year holidays. Dear Mr. Dy, Life has gotten too messy. First, failure; now, depression. During college, I’ve had high grades and flattering praises from my teachers. But I belong to a family that is so burdened with debts that we were looked down upon by relatives. So I stopped my education to pursue dreams of redemption for my family. I plunged into network marketing, gave it all my best for six months, but in the end I failed.

I hoped that I can still make up for my failure. So I went into real estate as an agent. It didn’t pay off, either. After two years, I wanted to try again. I always feel that I have no choice but to do real estate that can fulfill my dream and drag me away from my failure. Besides, this year I will be doing nothing. So I’m planning on being a real estate agent to use my time. My biggest obstacle is that I’m having doubts. I love real estate, but how can I do this when I’m having fear and doubt?

All in all, where do I start? I have lots of things in mind. But a friend told me that, for now, I must learn a skill in a short course program, because I’m not fit yet to dwell in a long course. What do you think?

Thank you, Maverick. Dear Maverick, Thank you for your email. I commend your efforts to raise your family out of financial hardship. I’m sorry that your network marketing and real estate selling didn’t work out.

But here’s a wake-up call: Do you really have what it takes to be in these fields? You may have all the passion in the world for them, but if you simply don’t have the necessary skills or personality to succeed, you will not only be wasting precious time but you would be perpetuating your failure and depression. Look at it this way: There are many out there who not only match your passion but have the talents you don’t have. So either you find another profession or really get the skills you crucially need.

You have a wise friend. I would go further by suggesting that you finish your college studies, then get a job with regular income. Any job. That way, you will have a stable “home base” from which you can pursue your dreams of redeeming the family honor. Yes, I know your family is saddled in debt, but look for alternatives such as a scholarship or financial assistance which you can repay with services.

Notice I said “Any job.” I don’t buy the “I have no choice but real estate” line because there are other career tracks out there. So start with a quick win: what is the job that (a) you can immediately jump into that is also (b) what you like to do and (c) are good at? Establish a baseline income first. You can always revisit those grandiose plans later. You can’t pursue your goals with an empty pocket or stomach.

Now, as to your fear and doubt. One technique that I use is to focus not on my insecurities, but on the benefits I can give to my prospective clients. Another is to imagine the worst-case scenario, stare at it in the face and say “I can live with that.” Notice how either approach relieves the pressure upon myself, thereby freeing me to work hard and excel.

Here’s another tip. Garner a string of successes, no matter how small, that can slowly but surely repair your tattered selfesteem. Pursue a hobby, be active in a civic or faith-based organization, have a writing or speaking stint, whatever it takes to have a sense of accomplishment. It may also give you new perspectives in life.

There’s a beautiful passage in the Bible that goes, “Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin” (Zechariah 4:10). Let go of real estate if, realistically speaking, your chances of succeeding are still uncertain. Start somewhere else, no matter how small or unrelated. Who knows, it might lead you to your true calling.

The person who holds your true calling is God Himself. Thus, the best advice I can give is to get closer to Him. Be utterly convinced that God loves and cares for you. Take time to read the Psalms for encouragement and petition. You will be surprised how many times David and other Psalmists were distressed and hard put. I do pray that in due time you will find your identity as a child of God through faith in Jesus Christ. That will give your life meaning that is independent of professional achievement and financial status. God bless you and stay in touch.

For more insights, check out these two books: Your Career Roadmap: How to Find the Job You Want and Love the One You Hate! and Regret No More: Letting Go of Yesterday’s Sorrows, available in major bookstores nationwide. You can reach me for questions or comments via the exclusive nelsondy.careerroadmap@gmail.com.