Guard your elderly
There is no denying the fact that many of my contemporaries between age 50 to 60+ now have parents in their 70’s and 80’s who require personal assistance and medical monitoring. The key point is generally providing them comfort and care. But there is one area of critical concern that many care givers or family members overlook, take for granted or find to be “uncomfortable”; that is the area of safeguarding or monitoring the finances of the elderly, whether that may be your parents or you after age 65.
There is now a growing trend in the country where Senior citizens or the elderly live separately from their children, moving into condominiums or farms where they live their own lives and manage their affairs as well as their money, largely without being monitored or checked by their children out of respect or because the elderly insist on taking care of themselves with little or no interference from their “kids.” This goes on for years if not a decade or so without the immediate family realizing that their father or mother have slowly deteriorated physically, mentally and emotionally.
As a result they start losing track of their finances, expenditures or start relying on their domestic help or hired caregiver to go to the bank for withdrawals, bill payments and the likes. Before you know it, the elderly’s only real control is only to sign credit card bills or bank documents. This dependence unfortunately often becomes too much of a temptation or an opportunity to household help in dire need. But that’s not the worst part of it. The elderly who suffer from short-term memory loss, dementia or an overly compassionate heart or love for others, are susceptible to being preyed upon or taken advantaged off even by kin and the unkind, even the so-called religious and spiritual.
Before my mother’s death, I learned from her driver and caregiver that Mom had lent large sums of her retirement savings to so-called family friends who needed “bridge financing” for their business or dire family concern. The worst part was that she had to chase after them even driving out to their homes or calling them but being denied entry at the village gate because “nobody was home.” Her driver told of one failed attempt after which my Mom Marita was so downcast, shook her head in dismay and said “Ang hirap maningil ng utang” (It is so difficult to collect the debt).
At that time she was in her late seventies and what broke her heart was how her love and respect for the younger person was laid to waste by such dishonest and disrespectful behavior. Aside from bad debts, Mom like many Filipinos also fell prey to one of the many investment scams that hurt thousands of Filipinos in the early ’90s. The fact of the matter is older people are not as tough, discerning or clear minded especially when the matter involves close friends etc.
The bad part is we would only learn of these things after the fact and it is a disturbing and somewhat painful realization that we simply have to put our foot down to protect the interest and financial security of our elderly parents or “ours” as the case may be. Better to meddle or monitor the money, rather than let some mercenary prey on you or the elderly. In the middle of all these my sisters managed to put in certain precautions such as making sure the bank accounts are in banks managed by close and very professional friends. This way, they would get calls or alerts when substantial or out of the ordinary withdrawals or payments were being made. I would suggest that you arrange with your bank that there be two signatories just for safety and security.
I’m not a financial guru, heck I suck at math, but I am extremely conservative and skeptical when it comes to investment schemes and the likes. If I can’t see it – feel it – or work it, the chances of me putting money in it are: Slim and None. I’m also a nagger for monthly accounting and annual review of expenses in order to know what areas we spent our money the most, what areas are productive, unproductive, or unnecessary. The annual or bi-annual even quarterly review of expenditures would be a good start at monitoring the finances of the elderly because you cut down waste, non-essentials, as well as hoarding (which is common among survivors of wars, Martial Law or disasters). It’s also a good way of monitoring and keeping track of salaries and benefits of caregivers, drivers and the likes. Some friends discovered that the staff are overpaid or are one too many.
You may find this next one weird but: Do a physical inventory of possessions. I know of two grandmothers who regularly accused or claimed that people were stealing stuff from the cabinet, their wallet or jewelry box. Both suffer from Alzheimer’ s. My Mom claimed to have bought an urn to be used for her funeral but not a single person ever saw it.
By having a regular inventory, the owner or elderly person can keep track of things while family members don’t have to hunt down missing pieces when the loved one is gone. You might find this awkward or disturbing but when a family put up a nice photo of their mother during her wake, the first thing they noticed was the gold necklace their mother was wearing. It was only then they realized that the necklace was nowhere to be found.
Last, make it a habit to talk about personal finances, spot check for predators lurking about or set up a system that loans or investments must be screened by younger family members. Whatever else you do, please do something and avoid a lifetime of regret. God bless.
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