Suddenly, suburbia
On our first night staying in our new house and neighborhood, before going to bed, all I could hear outside were the rhythmic conversation of crickets and the amusing vocalizations of a lone gecko beside our house. “I can’t sleep. It’s too quiet,” my husband told me. There were no videoke showdowns from neighboring barangays, no passing cars, no bright lights. It was only 8 p.m. and we were already getting ready for bed.
Hello, suburbia!
THE CITY TRANSPLANTS
I was born in the city and save for about two years living in Calamba, Laguna before I turned
Small everyday things that we couldn’t do before, we suddenly had so much time to do now. On a regular day, traffic is having six cars — or God forbid, eight — in front of you. And no car coding! It’s all so liberating, but also disorienting.
five, I stayed in the city until I was 41, married, and with two young teenagers.
The rhythm of city life was really all my family and I had ever known. All of a sudden here we were, less than two hours away from Manila, but disoriented like we were living in another time zone. My nerves were still on city-mode the first few months our family moved from the city to the suburbs.
My kids initially still left for school 75 minutes before their classes started and I planned my trips out of the house to do errands with at least an hour’s worth of allowance for traffic each way. I eventually realized, upon getting to the mall well before opening time and my kids getting to school even before the school staff, that I was stressed and worried about things I shouldn’t have been worried about anymore.
Small everyday things that we couldn’t do before, we suddenly had so much time to do now. We now leisurely have breakfast together as a family every single day. There’s so much time in the morning that I can fix my daughter’s hair so she has a different hair style every day of the week! The kids no longer have to wake up at an ungodly hour to make it to school. They no longer look like sleep-deprived zombies in the morning.
Their school, the malls, the grocery, are all just 10 to 15 minutes away. On a regular day, traffic is having six — or God forbid, eight — cars in front of you. No car coding! Just let me say that again — no car coding! And free parking everywhere. It’s all so liberating, but also disorienting. When I first joined a carpool with neighbors to bring our kids to school, I pushed for them to leave an hour before class started (I thought I was being relaxed, giving just an hour’s allowance for traffic) but my neighbors patiently showed me that all they needed were really just 15 minutes to get to school. I couldn’t believe it! Even on days when I have a long list of errands (bring kids to school, go to the bank, do groceries, go to the mall to buy school supplies, go to the hardware to buy home items), I find that I’m done by lunchtime and I still have the rest of the afternoon and evening to do so many other things.
MINDFUL LIVING
Suddenly having so much time on our hands, it now became possible to do all the other things we’ve always wanted to do. My husband and I started our edible garden. We now have talbos ng kamote, papaya, dragon fruit, guava, langka, mulberries, sili, calamansi, atis, coconut, cassava, pineapples, and a host of herbs and fragrant flowering plants. We go to nearby Tagaytay on weekends to buy plants and restock on supplies from Ilog Maria Bee Farm on random days of the week.
I rediscovered my passion for cooking and baking, along with interior design and DIY projects. My husband rides his Vespa to the gym on weekends. The kids get to hang out with their friends at the mall, yet still have time to pursue other individual interests.
My husband and I also get to go on more date nights here. One particular night, we left our house at 8 p.m. for a coffee date, and quickly found ourselves back home by 9 p.m. “Did you even leave?” asked my daughter.
It’s true what they say about time moving slower outside the city, and having more time forces you to think about what you really want to do with yourself and with your life. The old, reliable excuse that you don’t have time won’t work anymore. Suddenly, we were not living on auto-survival mode.
“I’m bored,” my kids used to say, not knowing what to do with all the time they had on their hands. I saw this as a chance for them to daydream, to think about everything and nothing, to walk around and poke at the plants, watch the clouds, even just to roll around in their beds. Letting their minds go blank for a bit and letting their body relax helped them wake up from the haze of the frenzied life that we used to live.
Our home now is surrounded by plants and trees, and views of the mountains and the valley below. Every day I still pinch myself. Being around nature has done so much for our children in particular. Their school, Acacia Waldorf, is right beside Holy Carabao Farm, an organic and wholesome farm that grows fresh produce with chickens freely roaming about, and also rabbits, pot-bellied pigs, and horses that they can pet and visit throughout the day.
During school fairs, instead of ferris wheels and roller coaster rides, they have carabao rides and a zip line anchored on two beautiful trees. They’re taught farming and woodwork, activities that teach them patience and perseverance. At a time when everything can be had in an instant, there is real value in still knowing how to work the ground with your hands and how to slowly make something out of a hard block of wood. You can’t rush it and there are no shortcuts. You can’t swipe left or right. Slow living has taught us to be mindful and also to respect the process.