It’s all good, or is it?
When kids are young, they are talkative – they want to talk to their parents all the time. Parents get tired and wish they could have some moments of peace and quiet.
Then kids grow up and enter their teens. They are still talkative, but only with their friends and not with their parents. So parents wish their kids converse with them, but this does not happen; striking a conversation with the kids become awkward and a challenge. You ask them a question, and they give back a curt, quick, and almost rude reply.
“How’s school today?” Guess what the reply is? “Okay lang!”
A few years later, the repeated phrase that became a fad developed into “whatever.” It was bland, and the tone connotes boredom at worst, helpless submission at best.
Parents hold on to their temper, and they try to be patient. They know that the “whatever” response is rude and disrespectful, but try to reassure themselves that perhaps this is the way young people communicate and as parents, they have to be “cool” or act cool to be accepted by the young. The word “whatever” can also be a lazy way to escape thinking, avoid interaction, bypass thought or feeling, and evade confrontation or dodge responsibility in life.
Phrases come and go. Now that “whatever” is fading away, a new slogan seems to replace it. This new replacement is a little bit more polite. It’s more positive, yet one of its uses seem to express the same thing as “whatever.” Guess what this phrase is? “It’s all good!” Other forms come as, “We’re all good!” “Oh I’m good.” These phrases that sound so positive and encouraging should make us feel better, shouldn’t it? Probably to the unsuspecting, but to those who are in the know it doesn’t come as good as we think it is.
Effective communication requires careful attention to the underlying meaning of the message that is delivered. Words carry meaning, and it brings about consequences. If leaders do not understand this and take it at its surface meaning, then conflicts may result and problems may arise. The same thing applies to parents trying to understand their kids.
During my younger days, things were more precise. Right is right, and wrong is wrong. Truth is the truth, and an untruth is a lie. Today watch the movies and try to understand the philosophy the young people. Then listen to the words of the young. It is not uncommon for them to say, “What may be good for you may not be good for me.” “To you, it may be the truth, but to me, it may not be.” “What is right for you may be wrong for me.”
Dr. Ravi Zacharias, the famed apologist, author, and the speaker says: “We are now living in a world of relativism.” Reverend Kerry S. Doyal says: In this time of tolerance and “all truths are equal,” “it’s all good” puts in three short words the spirit of our age. After all, who is anyone to judge anyone about anything? In fairness, the phrase “It’s all good” is not all that bad. It can be used as an expression of contentment. It may be synonymous to “that’s fine” or “I am good with that.” Doyal pointed out that two or three generations of absolute relativism and forced tolerance, “It’s all good” implies that everything is good, nothing is bad. You have your ways and beliefs, I have mine, and “It’s all good.”
Many young people insist that truth, values, happiness, and success are relative. It depends on the person. So imagine this generation entering the workplace, takes a look at the corporate values statement and says, “Well, they may talk about excellence, but I have my standards.” Another one might pick up the word “integrity” and insists that what is right and honest for the company may be their expectations, but for me, it all depends on the situation. Can you imagine how chaotic the case can be? Padding expense accounts, leaving the workplace anytime anybody wants, quitting the job without notifying anyone, or bringing home company properties – could this possibly work? While HR points out that these actions are violations, some young people would insist that “it’s all good.”
History has taught us that murder, cheating, rape or genocide are morally wrong, and they are not all good. But we seem to see that culture is increasingly fearful of speaking against what is popular and loud even though these may be morally wrong. But, not to worry, we admit the inverse too. After all, it’s all good?
We need to hear our culture, hear ourselves, and be more discerning. Cliches are cultural indicators and historically derived. As meaningless and innocent as they may become, they are not without meaning or innocent.
One word of advice. For the new hires, especially the incoming young generation about to enter the workforce; make sure that onboarding programs should include an extensive orientation and briefing on your corporate values and what your business stands for. Let them understand that right and wrong are not the same and that truth and untruth differ. Values training becomes imperative because when it comes to moral standards and references; not adhering to them is not all good.
(Francis Kong’s Level Up Leadership last run for the year will take place on Sept. 10 and 11 at Makati Diamond Residences (near Greenbelt 1). Register early as seats tend to run out early. For advanced registration specifically for group rates or other inquiries contact April at +63928-559-1798 or register online at www.levelupleadership.ph)