Conquering

the road less traveled

Being different is one of the biggest fears most people, especially Filipinos, have. Of course, I’m speaking from experience — as I see it from people and as I myself go through it. That’s probably why, when I was diagnosed with Systemic Lupus Ertyhematosus (SLE) and had to undergo chemotherapy, I dreaded being seen as always wearing face masks and losing my hair. Of course, these would all reveal how different I was, and, for a teenager, not being like everyone else was terrifying.

I was diagnosed with SLE in 2004, just a month before turning 14. However, with an army of like-minded believers beside me, I fought the good fight and emerged victorious after a few years of grueling treatment and medication. As I got better, I felt like I was also finally “becoming like the others” once again, diminishing my fear of being different.

When I was declared on remission from SLE, I immediately pursued school again. I was already working at home and earning a decent income, but what I wanted to do — which was to use communication to contribute to the development of society — was too clear not to give it a shot.

Years passed as I got better at home, making me six years older than most of my batchmates in University of the Philippines Los Baños. That fear of being different once again crept into my life, so I had to brace myself of this before starting college.

My difference with my colleagues did not end with my age. In my junior year in the university, while in a Political Science class, I got extremely dizzy. It was days before doctors declared that my kidneys had already failed, therefore making me a dialysis patient and a candidate for a kidney transplant.

Doing dialysis technically strips off a day in my week because I do it for four hours, twice a week. Hence, I had to work harder on times that I’m in school or at home. So, I learned to work more efficiently — less time, but better quality. Since becoming a PWD, the greatest strength that I gained from becoming one, is greater empathy for my fellow PWDs.

Because I am a PWD, my eyes were opened at how lacking our transportation system truly is when it comes to efficiency and cleanliness. If “normal people” complain of discomfort when

traveling in the Metro, can you imagine what it’s like for PWDs who cannot afford private vehicles? I also saw how quite unjust the system is in our education, health, and other sectors, especially towards persons with disabilities.

A special treatment is not what PWDs seek. In fact it’s equality, or equity at least, that they fight for — equal opportunities, equal access.

Seeing all these became my motivation to uphold excellence in everything that I do. Maybe, just maybe, if I succeed at my goals while being a PWD, the cries of my fellow PWDs would be heard better. I know it will take more than a passionate, idealistic individual like me to create drastic changes in our society, but maybe, a tiny step by me towards positive change can make a difference.

As my empathy for my fellow PWDs grew, my fear of being different ceased to affect me. I have placed my advocacies in higher priority. I now use being different as a brand, letting the world know that no matter how different we are, in the end, we all desire for the same thing: happiness and love. And we all deserve the same opportunities and access to making these aspirations a reality.

Indeed, I am made stronger by my weakness and while I wouldn’t wish anyone to be a PWD or have the same medical condition as I do, I know I am grateful for this ordeal. Without it, I would not have been this hungry, gritty, and driven to serve.

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Sam Timbreza recently graduated magna cum laude and class valedictorian at the College of Development Communication in UPLB. She currently works at the Ateneo School of Government.