What you need to know before age 40
The website fatherly.com recently asked 12 men what they thought they need to know before reaching middle age. That is, age 40.
Their reply makes interesting reading, described by fatherly. com’s Matt Christensen as “hard-won lessons.”
Here’s what Mr. Christensen has to say: “Few birthdays seem full of more mystique, uncertainty, and apprehension than the big 4-0.
“Sure, it’s helpful to have markers along the way and 40 is a mid-point many of us have drawn, a line of demarcation between our younger and older selves. And, yes, for some the date is just that, a date. But for many men, a sense of dread encroaches as they creep closer to 40.”
Interestingly, one of the replies that obviously made an impression on me was No. 5, from Tony, 48, of New Jersey who wished he knew how to look after his teeth more seriously.
“I made the mistake of not doing that throughout my 30s, and by the time I hit my 40s, my mouth was a disaster.
“It really made me feel like a gross human being and ended up costing quite a bit of money to gradually fix.
“I was a smoker. I didn’t brush regularly, didn’t floss. And, man, I regret it all.
“I think it represents a greater lesson of taking care of your body, and for me the lesson was punctuated by my funky mouth. Looking back, I honestly wish I would’ve invested a few minutes each day instead of months and thousands of dollars years later.”
Sounds about right.
The 12 men, all older than 40, reflected on what they cared about more and less. As the 12 men confirm, Mr. Christensen says, being a middle-aged human is humbling and enlightening in unexpected ways.
One of them said: “I wish I knew to practice living authentically.” That means having the courage to be vulnerable and show emotion, that it’s not a weakness to show emotion and share feelings.
One wished he knew to care less about what others thought. “I don’t actively seeking to be disliked. And certainly seek to be respected. But care less in general what others think of you. If it’s not going to harm other people or yourself, do what you love. “It’s your life,” says Thomas, 41, of Toronto.
Thomas, 45, of Iowa wished he knew that burning some bridges was okay. You’re never too old to learn something new,” says Neil, 44, from Colorado. Pets are pure love, says Jon, 43, from North Carolina.
“I wish I’d known that not everyone will like you,” says Dan, 45, of New Zealand. Luis, 48, of Ohio wished he knew to truly cherish his parents. He’s lucky, they’re still alive. “It really means stopping and savoring every moment you spend with them.”
My favorite is from Ross, 46, of California who wished he knew the world won’t stop without him.
“We’re all the heroes in our own dramas, and the central characters in our own lives. But the universe doesn’t see it that way. To the cosmic whole, we’re all just bit-part players, and the show will go on without us.
“That’s why it’s important to stop and smell the roses every now and then, to take the time to feel the raindrops on your face and just luxuriate in the beauty of your surroundings.
“Life is all about the little things and then feeling moments that it’s all too easy to miss, so take the time to enjoy them while you can, as often as you can.”
The best advice, though, comes from Max, 45, of New Hampshire: “Turning 40 is all hype.”
Dr. Joseph D. Lim is the former Associate Dean of the College of Dentistry, University of the East; former Dean, College of Dentistry, National University; Past President and Honorary Fellow of the Asian Oral Implant Academy; Honorary Fellow of the Japan College of Oral Implantologists; and Honorary Life Member of the Thai Association of Dental Implantology. For questions on dental health, e-mail jdlim2008@gmail.com or text 0917-8591515.
Dr. Kenneth Lester Lim, BS-MMG, DDM, MScOI, graduated Doctor of Dental Medicine, University of the Philippines College of Dentistry, Manila, 2011; Bachelor of Science in Marketing Management, De la Salle University, Manila, 2002; and Master of Science (MSc.) in Oral Implantology, Goethe University, Frankfurt, Germany, 2019. He is an Associate professor; Fellow, International Congress of Oral Implantologists; Member, American Academy of Implant Dentistry and Philippine College of Oral Implantologists. For questions on dental health, e-mail limdentalcenter@gmail.com/ WDJ