RAFAEL ANTONIO & ALARISE DOMINGO
Finding the Perfect Balance
My fiancé Paeng and I are two polar opposites in many respects. I grew up fascinating on Disney cartoons where the knight in shining armor would sweep the princess off her feet, while Paeng didn’t exactly believe in fancy fairytales. He was the epitome of a realistic and logical male archetype who perceives a relationship as a one-tracked path where he would one day meet the love of his life and marry the only girlfriend he has ever had.
It was then very surreal for me when after seven years of being the one who constantly bugs him to go on out-of-town trips, he one day invited me to Poro Point, La Union–just because he “saw” an advertisement banner somewhere and specifically told me to bring a nice camera. Though being the naïve person that I am, little did I know that it will be a life-changing date of our lives. While standing at one of the most beautiful and scenic cliffs, listening to him talk about how much he values our relationship, I looked back at him, still clueless of the huge surprise that was forthcoming. I was in great shock when he suddenly knelt on his knee and asked me to be his forever.
The two-year engagement opened us to several disagreements. I had envisioned a dreamy wedding – big church, the most beautiful wedding dress, a grand reception, scrumptious dinner, romantic music, and well-renowned photographer/videographer. Every detail needed to be seamless and perfect, as I had always dreamed of.
Paeng, however, had a more modest and practical plan in mind. It seemed that my suggestions were too flashy for his taste. He wanted a personal touch for our wedding, something more intimate. It was too simple for me, I thought – a typical version of what I had imagined. If he was being very practical about finances, we might as well just go through a civil wedding. To make things more difficult, in keeping the date of our 9th anniversary, Paeng wanted to celebrate our wedding on the same date, which falls on a Tuesday.
It was a roller-coaster ride of emotions. I wanted something totally opposite from his plans. Though admittedly, I knew he had a sensible and valid point but the bride princess in me was deeply saddened. Ultimately, it was simply a celebration of our love story with the people who matter most to us. The wedding would reflect the genuine beauty of our relationship that have withstood the trials of time.
We then learned to compromise. I chose the photographer whom I felt would surely capture our moments; he chose our videographer who had a personal and homey touch. I chose the church; he chose the wedding date. I chose the venue; he chose the lights and sounds. I chose the cake design; he chose the cake flavor. I wanted a live band for the after-party; he chose the band, to which we both liked. We made sure that neither would choose without the approval of other.
On September 26, 2017, yes - a Tuesday, we had a double celebration of our 9th anniversary as a couple and now as husband and wife, surrounded by all our loved ones. It may not have been the grandiose and extravagant wedding that I dreamt of, but it was definitely better –it was the wedding we both have chosen together. The best part of it is when we danced, while our favorite Itchyworms band was rocking the night away. It was indeed my own magical wedding and I realized that my real prince charming was right with me all this time. In Paeng, I have truly found my perfect balance.
“It was indeed my own magical wedding and I realized that my real prince charming was right with me all this time.”