I spy

The Star (St. Lucia) - Life Begins 2 Nite - - CONTENTS - By Missy La­neous

Why did the Labour Party lose Elec­tion 666? Seems to me that’s a ques­tion to be mulled over by the party’s dumped for­mer and wouldbe Cabi­net min­is­ters, and I mean in the dark­est cor­ner of a still friendly Bois Patat wa­ter­ing hole. Why would the ques­tion in­ter­est win­ners of the race, any­way? Or even those (to bor­row Kenny An­thony’s own words) re­spon­si­ble for “the mas­sive swing from the Labour Party.” (Not from him, you un­der­stand.) Shouldn’t that long Face­book di­a­tribe from the beaten for­mer leader have suf­ficed? Wasn’t it enough he ac­tu­ally ac­cused god’s agents of pass­ing out pieces of sil­ver to folks turned yel­low af­ter five years of hav­ing their blood drained by the red bugs? Since when has it been wrong for church lead­ers to pass out a lit­tle char­ity? Dat’s their role, no?

Des­per­ate to prove he can be as imag­i­na­tive as any plan­ta­tion boss, the newly hatched leader of the op­po­si­tion opined this week that his party got the elec­toral boot be­cause of a lousy com­mu­ni­ca­tion sys­tem. Isn’t that an­other way of say­ing Da Jade was not nearly as in touch as she imag­ined? That Claw D. Asp wasn’t so straight up with the peo­ple, af­ter all? That Smelton Dan­ny­hell blew too much hot air up the wrong ori­fices? The way the LOO dropped his load this week, only the peo­ple of Cas­tries East lis­tened when he said “five dol­lars can block a hole.” Oh, well, with that kind of rea­son­ing to cope with, Ernest Hi­laire had bet­ter be lean­ing heav­ily on his PhD. Looks like the road ahead could turn out to be harder than lis­ten­ing to his leader’s so­lu­tions to ho­ley pock­ets. As for shaft­ing the Man from La­boree, remember he’s al­ways loaded with lu­bri­cants for in­ter­course, diplo­matic and other­wise!

And speak­ing of the LOO: I couldn’t help won­der­ing if he re­al­ized the open­ing of the 11th par­lia­ment on Tues­day fea­tured no less than four cur­rent and for­mer prime min­is­ters, not one of them him. No doubt “the poster boy for the eco­nomic class” must’ve been think­ing his own thoughts about both the LOO and his UWI shadow. Then again, some folks are more com­fort­able fol­low­ing their leadah-leadah than with fronting any­thing. They’re just made that way!

Still on the LOO: When it came time on Tues­day to eu­lo­gize re­cently de­parted Trini PM Pa­trick Man­ning, Saint Lu­cia’s in­terim op­po­si­tion leader ex­pressed deep re­gret that politi­cians only speak well of each other when one drops dead. That would tend to ex­plain his kind re­marks upon as­sum­ing the man­tle of party lead­er­ship from his col­league the for­mer prime min­is­ter and for­mer party boss, soon to be for­mer MP. But don’t tell any­one.

An­other lady in the chair: The last time a fe­male bot­tom oc­cu­pied the Speaker’s perch some folks on the op­po­si­tion side were es­pe­cially rude to her, over and over, as if her gen­der pre­vented her from know­ing her role. Here’s hop­ing they’ve since learned the dif­fer­ence be­tween a rose and a woman named af­ter the king of the jun­gle! See ya’ll next time.

Philip J. Pierre, the new leader of the House op­po­si­tion on Tues­day save his sharpest com­ment for the dead. He did not say whether he re­ferred to the dead-dead or the alive-dead, po­lit­i­cally or other­wise!

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