Yo Dee

The Star (St. Lucia) - Life Begins 2 Nite - - CONTENTS -

Well, well, well. Just when I thought I’d heard the last of the on­line-bomb squad an­other honey-coated of­fer shows up on my phone. Re­mem­ber I promised last week to change my num­ber so the ad­ver­tis­ers of bomb op­por­tu­ni­ties would have to look else­where for their sala­cious tal­ent? Well, pro­cras­ti­na­tion got the best of me. The lat­est come-on from the bomb squad reads: Hello, good day. Are you will­ing to sell 20 pho­tos for $1000 USD?

Now, I’ll ad­mit that as soon as my eyes fell on that USD I started tick­ing debt col­lec­tors off my list. Let’s be hon­est; we all have way more than 20 pho­tos on Face­book and In­sta­gram, all eas­ily ac­ces­si­ble. I fig­ured the in­vite was too good to be true but de­cided to poke around any­way. “What type of pic­tures are you look­ing for?” I en­quired. Silly me, I had no idea what kind of re­sponse to ex­pect, but there it was in a flash: Nude pho­tos, with­out your face. Only from neck down is needed. If pho­tos are sent tonight you re­ceive your pay­ment by 11a.m. to­mor­row via Western union.

I swear: in all of my wildest days I never en­coun­tered such hardass brass. Jus’ so? Is this lat­est hor­ror to be added to our al­ready lengthy list of plagues? All kinda talk about the gov­ern­ment get­ting their own jet, so as to save on travel ex­penses; all kinda FB hog­wash about put­ting an end to live cov­er­age of House ses­sions; but when it comes to on­line pimp­ing, not a word not a word not a word. Talk about mak­ing the ab­nor­mal nor­mal!

Then again, as a fel­low fe­male in dis­tress told me this week: if we have to tie our waists any tighter be­fore we get that promised VAT re­lief, then we might as well sell head­less im­ages on­line—whether of our­selves or not. I mean, there are scores of free-porn sites and thou­sands of naked babes to choose from, right? But ladies, please be care­ful about the an­gles. You don’t want your un­em­ployed and tetchy sig­nif­i­cant other bump­ing up against a pic­ture of some head­less lady and imag­in­ing cer­tain ex­posed parts of her anatomy re­mind him of you, right? As for me, well, I’m def­i­nitely chang­ing my num­ber. Like now. USD or not!

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