Why do men make SEX SO COM­PLEX?

The Star (St. Lucia) - Life Begins 2 Nite - - FRONT PAGE -

Male de­sires are by far the most con­fus­ing as­pect of their make-up. And be­fore you guys start rant­ing about all men not be­ing the same, which will tempt me to ask how you dis­cov­ered the in­ti­mate sides of other men, let me say I speak from wide ex­pe­ri­ence. From the sugar dad­dies to the wannabe pretty boys, to the bi­ble thumpers to the se­cret weed col­lec­tors, I’ve been up close to the lot, high and sober. When it comes to Jake the Snake, it’s the same strokes from dif­fer­ent folks.

Con­fused? How dif­fer­ent guys re­act to fe­male sex­u­al­ity, how­ever, is a whole dif­fer­ent mat­ter. Com­plex, even. It’s true that so­ci­ety is a bit more tol­er­ant of les­bian li­aisons than of male on male en­gage­ments. Hey, call it what you like, when two fe­males come to­gether, so to speak, what you have is les­bian ac­tion. (Which doesn’t mean the women are re­motely les­bian, as well you guys know!) But two guys get­ting it on? Even closet gay guys pub­licly frown on that.

An­other puz­zle: Why is it heav­enly to have two ladies do­ing you but ab­so­lutely un­think­able should your lady sug­gest some girl on girl ac­tion with no boy in sight? Just the other day I learned from a col­league why he al­ways seems to have a huge chip on his shoul­ders. He blamed his ex-wife whom he said had cheated on him. He divorced her on the ground she had pre­tended when they met to be what she was not: a lover of fe­male flesh! Two years had passed and still he’d not got­ten over the shock and dis­gust.

It was re­minded me of an­other sit­u­a­tion in­volv­ing a girl­friend of mine. She had con­fessed to her fi­ancé her dal­liance with a mem­ber of her gen­der. She had not con­sid­ered what they did cheat­ing; there was no emo­tional at­tach­ment, she had sim­ply got­ten her rocks off in her fi­ancé’s some­what ex­tended ab­sence. Hey, toys don’t al­ways hit the spot. Why didn’t she con­sider her ac­tion cheat­ing? Well, she said, the other woman was no stranger to her bed.

As she told it, sev­eral months ear­lier her fi­ancé had sug­gested a three­some with an­other woman. At first she re­sisted; she sug­gested the third party be an­other man of his choos­ing. Of course, her fi­ancé blew his top. Did she have a screw loose or some­thing? An­other man? Was she nuts? But just when she thought her fi­ancé had given up on the three­some thing, he brought it up again. And again. But al­ways with an in­vited fe­male. So be­gan the ar­range­ment ear­lier men­tioned.

"Some­times the toys can't find the right spot, so here comes a help­ing hand... or two!"

It re­mained now to hear the other side of the story. Cu­rios­ity, you un­der­stand.

He was dev­as­tated, I tell you. So much that I wor­ried he might do him­self harm. Gros pwel can be hell! I asked if he was con­sid­er­ing a breakup. He wasn’t, he said, but he was hav­ing a rough time get­ting over the fact that she’d cheated on him. He went so far as to call her a les­bian . . . then let me know how much ho­mo­sex­u­als dis­gusted him. I did say this was a com­plex sub­ject.

I prod­ded fur­ther. Had he not been the one who in­tro­duced the other woman to their boudoir? Pleaded, begged and all that? Yes, he ad­mit­ted mat­ter-of-factly, but it had never oc­curred to him that she’d end up lov­ing the lick­ing more than the stick­ing!”

The story ends sadly. Soon af­ter our talk my friend packed her be­long­ings and moved on . . . alone. Stay­ing with him had quickly be­come un­bear­able. The other day she called me with good news: she’s en­gaged. Yes, to a man, which is not to say she does not, when­ever a safe op­por­tu­nity arises, “seek out a cou­ple girl­friends for a pil­low fight”—her for­mer lover’s code for a mé­nage a trios!” Some­thing tells me my ver­sa­tile friend’s story has just be­gun!

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