The Adrenaline Cure-All
How to solve your health issues, one stressful episode at a time
YOU’VE SURELY HEARD, at some point or other, one of those stories where people manage superhuman feats that defy imagination. Like someone lifting a car to save a person, without consuming that insane drug flakka. That’s a different kind of rush. But these stories are all adrenalineinduced episodes. I was always sceptical of such tales of drama until I had my own adrenaline-rushed experience last month.
I’d just reached the office after seeing a doctor about a sprained back (which I had of course hurt after doing something tremendously manly like crossfit training and not because I spent far too much time hunched over the computer playing DotA) when I received a text from my mum that read: “Pops is at the holistic doc’s. Having chest pains”. Now seeing as my mum had texted instead of calling, I assumed it wasn’t an emergency. A couple of minutes later, feeling a tad uneasy (the start of an adrenaline charged superhuman experience that’s granted me psychic powers), I decide to check on the situation. Within seconds of my reply, my mum rang, her trembling voice telling me to fetch my dad because the pain had got worse and he couldn’t drive.
The 10-minute cab ride was agonisingly slow. A secondary power of the adrenaline brain surge is the ability to slow time. When I got to my dad, he was pale, shaking and sweating profusely. I had never seen him so vulnerable. I suspected it was his heart, so I got into the driver’s seat and slammed on the accelerator. The only thing I remember about the drive was that it was the fastest I had ever driven. Yet amazingly, no speed camera evidence. Clearly another powerful side effect of adrenaline.
Once we pulled into A&E, the hospital staff took over. They attended to him and convinced that he was now in safe hands, I went in search of a parking lot.
When I finally found one, I sprinted back to the emergency centre where the doctors confirmed that my dad was having a heart attack and required an angiogram right away. They took down my details, gave me his belongings in a bag, and wheeled him away for the procedure. Thankfully, a few hours later a nurse informed us that they had eliminated the blockage and placed a couple of stents in the clogged artery. When we finally got to see him, I felt an immense rush of relief.
Throughout all of this, my sprained back had given me no pain, something I only realised hours later on the way home. I had gone from being barely able to move about in the morning to speeding down roads like a race car driver and then sprinting several hundred metres through a hospital in a matter of hours.
Forget the pain pills and muscle relaxants that doctors prescribe for the body issues we experience. The best fix is to have a terrifying, downright horrific event kick up the adrenaline a big notch. Sure, the downside is the scare of a lifetime. The upside, however, is that it’ll enable your body to fix itself. Sorta.
Forget the pain pills and muscle relaxants that doctors prescribe for body issues