23 years of mar­riage

Blissful Brides - - LOVE MATTERS -

What were your first im­pres­sions of each other?

Josephine: I was at­tracted to his dim­ples but I was not a fan of his Mr “T” hair­cut!

Simon: Josephine was easy-go­ing, ap­proach­able and a good lis­tener. Also, she is not overly-needy, a trait that I am in­clined to­wards.

What is the top ad­vice you can give to new­ly­weds just mov­ing in to­gether?

JO & SI: Com­mu­ni­cate with each other reg­u­larly! Do not as­sume your spouse au­to­mat­i­cally knows what you are think­ing or feel­ing. You have to let your spouse know and seek to work through the dif­fi­cul­ties by talk­ing through them to­gether. Keep­ing your thoughts and feel­ings deep inside you with­out voic­ing them is a pre­lude to a head-on col­li­sion.

What is your favourite mem­ory from your wed­ding day?

JO: I was in a tra­di­tional kua and I was wel­com­ing my guests at the din­ner ban­quet and hav­ing so much fun. How­ever, I later found out that it was in­ap­pro­pri­ate for the bride to be at the re­cep­tion un­til the din­ner starts.

SI: I was dressed in a match­ing tra­di­tional long feng kua as Josephine and I wel­comed our guests. It was mem­o­rable as our guests were sur­prised at my un­usual choice of at­tire.

What does love mean to you?

JO & SI: There is no right or wrong, yes or no in love. Love is to give and take, to give up one’s pride in or­der to make the other one happy. Love is self­less and for­giv­ing.

What was the most dif­fi­cult thing you had to work through to­gether as a mar­ried cou­ple?

SI: As Josephine’s par­ents are get­ting on in age, she sought my opin­ion of the pos­si­bil­ity of hav­ing her par­ents move in and stay with our chil­dren and my mother, as she wanted to take care of them. Al­though I was sup­port­ive of her, it was a dif­fi­cult de­ci­sion, as we knew the po­ten­tial con­flicts of hav­ing the par­ents of both sides un­der one roof. Nev­er­the­less, we agreed that this was the right thing to do. We had a few dif­fi­cult teething is­sues when my in­laws shifted in and it re­ally tested our re­la­tion­ship. Thank­fully, through our per­se­ver­ance and our love for each other, and through our con­stant prayers and with God’s grace, we have over­come them and have been so blessed that both par­ents, our chil­dren and us hav­ing been liv­ing cor­dially since.

What are some long-term dreams and goals you have as a cou­ple?

JO & SI: One of our long-term goals is to nur­ture our chil­dren to be so­cially re­spon­si­ble adults and to seek self-un­der­stand­ing, to value their self-worth be­fore grow­ing to be­come com­mu­nity-minded young adults. We strive to live by ex­am­ple as chil­dren pick up moral val­ues within their fam­i­lies, and mainly by re­ly­ing on their par­ents as role mod­els.

What is one piece of love ad­vice you will dish out to newly-weds-to-be?

JO & SI: Mar­riage is al­ways a work in progress. Al­ways treat each other re­spect­fully and as equals. Never speak poorly of each other pub­licly and be kind to each other. If your spouse is hav­ing a tough day, lend your spouse a soft place to land. If your spouse is an­gry or frus­trated, take a step back – do not take it per­son­ally and treat them with love and re­spect. De­spite hav­ing been mar­ried for twen­tythree years, we are still learn­ing and grow­ing in this re­la­tion­ship.

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