Sin­gle vs Set­tled

What do you do when your friend be­comes part of a cou­ple? Does that change the friend­ship for­ever? Two read­ers share their sides of the story.

CLEO (Singapore) - - YOUR LIFE, YOUR RULES! -

I’ve been sin­gle for a while and I re­ally love my rou­tine and the life I have. I go to the gym or do yoga af­ter work, and I meet up with friends to party on Fri­day nights. On week­ends, when I have the time (and the money), I like to check out new restau­rants. Most of my friends are sin­gle too, which makes it easy to make plans with them.

I find that my friends who are at­tached have dif­fer­ent pri­or­i­ties. It can get an­noy­ing ask­ing them if they’re free to meet, and al­ways have them say no. It means we sel­dom meet up. I’d never say it to their faces but some­times, I think they’ve all got­ten a lit­tle bor­ing. You don’t need to lose your iden­tity just be­cause you’re in a re­la­tion­ship. Some­times, I think they for­get what it’s like to be sin­gle and not have to ask some­one else for time to do some­thing.” Jolin, 28

I’ve had friends who got into re­la­tion­ships and then dis­ap­peared and I’ve al­ways hated that. So when I got mar­ried, I swore I wouldn’t do the same thing. But then again, why be with some­one if you aren’t go­ing to spend time to­gether?

Since we both work quite late, my hus­band and I made a prom­ise to do date night ev­ery Fri­day. That means I’m never free on that night but I don’t think it’s a big deal. I ad­mit I some­times miss hav­ing the free­dom to de­cide to go out on im­pulse, but that wouldn’t be fair to my hus­band.

I still keep in touch with most of my sin­gle girl­friends, but I’ve got a lot more com­mit­ments now – like fam­ily din­ners and birth­day par­ties for rel­a­tives. It an­noys me that my friends like to plan stuff on Fri­day nights, and then just be­cause I can’t make it, as­sume I can’t meet up on week­ends ei­ther.” Feli­cia, 31

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