Accepting the New Normal

It’s not easy to “just accept how things are” when mourning our pre-pandemic lives. Here, certified coach and counsellor TANJA FAESSLER shares helpful tips on embracing a reality you feel like you never agreed to.

“First, give yourself permission to be shocked and upset,” says Tanja. “You expected life to be one way, and yet it’s another very different way. This realisation alone can leave people feeling powerless and vulnerable.”

Once you accept how you feel, you can start accepting your new reality and how you fit into it. Of course, this doesn’t mean that you have to agree with it.

“We don’t have to force ourselves to like what we cannot like. Acceptance simply means acknowledging reality as reality,” she says. “It can be difficult to be accepting because it feels too disempowering, or like giving up trying to improve or change things. In truth, we can completely accept the current reality without abandoning efforts to change it. This takes courage and wisdom.”

So, how can we hope for the future without denying the present? Here’s what Tanja suggests:

• Focus on slowing down and relaxing. Simply be with how you are, however that is. What happens when you are accepting even of your resistance to accepting?

• Accept that it’s okay not to have an answer or not yet know how to move forward – that will come with time.

• Process difficult feelings by talking to others, journaling, meditating, spending time in nature, keeping active or even making art. Find small ways to join life again, as it is.

• Keep a close eye on self-care and be patient with yourself.

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