Need Some Support?

The fertility journey can be very stressful. Getting the support you need for your mental wellness is just as important as all that poking and prodding, wishing and waiting.

So, whether you’re trying to conceive naturally or via fertility treatment, and whether you’re just starting to try or have been trying for some time, know that counselling can help, says certified coach and counsellor, TANJA FAESSLER-MORO. She and the team at Counsellingconnectz provide fertility, IVF and donor counselling, as well as pregnancy, birth and postpartum counselling.

Here, Tanja explains the benefits that counselling can bring for couples at every stage of their journey on the road to parenting.

What is fertility counselling and how can it help struggling couples?

A specialty within the counselling field, fertility counselling requires counsellors to be trained in the area of female and male infertility. They have medical knowledge and familiarity with the mental and emotional struggles that couples can experience during their fertility journey.

Infertility is still very much a taboo topic, which means that, very often, a fertility counsellor is the first person a couple might talk to. With this type of support, couples can share their struggles with someone who understands them and can help normalise their feelings and support them from where they are at to where they want to get. This type of counselling has been shown to make parents-to-be feel calmer, enjoy their pregnancy more, and be better prepared for a gentle birthing experience.

When clients come to us, it’s important that we first understand their journeys and where they feel most of the struggles. This can vary from anxiety, stress and lack of confidence to depression, trauma, marital issues and much more. Depending on their primary areas of concern, we focus on the best therapy that can help them release any burden, and allow them to experience a refreshed perspective, hope, inner strength or whatever it is they need.

When should a couple consider seeking help from a fertility counsellor?

As early as possible! We know from working over 10 years in this field, just how much fertility stress factors can put pressure on a relationship. Many couples feel alone on this journey, and do not feel understood or supported by their partner. We focus a lot on strengthening couples’ relationships so that they feel empowered, and as a strong team on this journey.

How do you support couples going through IVF treatment?

Our counselling service is unique in that it includes support for all IVF clients, as well as specialist counselling for our donor programmes and genetic testing. Clients are offered specialised coaching and counselling sessions prior to starting hormone stimulation, egg retrieval and embryo transfer, and during the two weeks’ waiting time. We like to work closely with the medical specialists to know the protocols and the dates of procedures so that we can give our clients support exactly when they need it most.

It’s also important to us that we support husbands during IVF, as they are closest to their wives and very often their important role is totally disregarded by IVF doctors.

What are the advantages of seeing a counsellor during pregnancy and beyond?

Depending on the individual woman’s experiences before getting pregnant – including experiences that lead all the way back to childhood – she can become more suggestible during pregnancy, and these “old” feelings can come up. If a mum-to-be suddenly feels emotionally low or anxious, is struggling with her identity or is even having difficulty feeling happy about the baby, she should know that these feelings are coming up because she’s ready to work through them. We call this the “golden opportunity”.

The immense benefit of seeing a counsellor at that point is to successfully work on those challenges, and make space for love, creativity, abundance and being able to bond with baby. This will also help with postnatal depression, breastfeeding and finding her new identity after birth.

Keep in mind that no matter what stage you’re at in your journey, you are not alone! There is plenty of support surrounding you, and we’re all here to help you every step of the way.

Counsellingconnectz

#09-01 Scotts Medical Suites, 9 Scotts Road counsellingconnectz.com